Christianity 2.0.4: Why Perceptions Matter

Preface to Christianity 2.0

There are 4 reasons why perceptions matter.

1. What people think about us, influences how they respond to us.

Peoples attitudes and perceptions drive their actions.  If their attitudes about Christianity are already negative, we are already at a disadvantage.

2. What people think about us, should help us be more objective.

We need to be more objective and transparent.  When we go to church and hang out with Christians, we are seeing the faith through rose colored glasses.  Outsiders are trying to tell us that we are not being honest with ourselves. 

We are what we are, not what we tell people we are.  People will not be swayed to embrace Christianity by our words, our multimedia services or our new coffee shop.  They look at our daily actions. 

3. What people think of Christians can change.  

Attitudes and Perceptions can be changed.  As the study in 1996 shows, Christians were seen highly favorable. By addressing the issues of outsiders and living more Christ like, we can again be seen as living examples of our faith.

4. What people think of Christians reflect personal stories and interactions.

This is the hard one to face, personal experiences from outsiders about being treated cruelly by Christians. 

We live in the world, not of it.  However, currently stating that you are a Christian in the world of outsiders, can attach to you personally unwarranted labels of Hypocritical, Judgmental and so forth simply because of the perceptions of outsiders.

Finally, Jesus was concerned about the reputation of his father in Heaven. Are you?

Your life, words and daily actions are living examples to others of what God is like.  And they are watching.  Just tonight, I was eating with my family in a restaurant and when the food was served, we all held hands and prayed before eating.  A few minutes later, the 20-something waiter came up and commented on how awesome it was to see us praying in public as a family. He said that it rarely happens anymore. 

If you are still not convinced that perceptions matter, I wish you could hear some of the stories shared by respondents to the surveys.  

One single mother left the church after Christians told her she would never be an effective parent and she needed to find a man.

Another women now feels Christians have no compassion when she asked her fellow Christians what she should tell a gay friend.  The Christians responded with something about burning in hell. 

Another women frequently asked her womens group about how to handle marital problems.  She was told she was being to liberal and needed to be more submissive.  The following year, her husband who was the Men's Ministry leader, was charged with domestic violence charges against his wife and she has now left the church and her husband. 

My own wife's grand father, tells his daughters that they are going to burn in hell for not going to a Lutheran Church.  I told them to ask him where it says that in the Bible? 

Are you starting to grasp the problem? 

Millions of Generation X and Y adults are disengaging from churches and Christians because they say they do not want to be associated with the perceptions of Christianity. Not only that, but they are vocal about it.  Go to your local bookstore and see how many books are on the bestseller list that are atheist attacks on Christianity.

Today, we are losing the spiritual battle with these Generations and it's our own fault.  

It's time we woke up. 

 Part 5

Christianity 2.0.3: Should We Care?

Preface to Christianity 2.0

Happy New Year!  I am sitting in a hotel lobby tapping this out still waiting to close on my house and move in.  I want to send a big thank you to Dante for keeping Legacy Dad updated during the holidays. Thanks brother!! 

Jesus said the world would hate us and Christians certainly go against the modern day "do whatever feels good" attitude but shouldn't outsiders just repent and accept the truth of Jesus?   Many people try this route with outsiders with little success and actually cause more damage. 

As Christians, we often want to preach the good news but we fail to exhibit the other side of Jesus.  Grace.  See John 1:14.

Embracing truth without embracing grace leads to legalism.  Just as grace without truth leads to compromise.  Still, the Barna research shows that Gen X and Y say they rarely see Christians display the following traits:

Service, Compassion, Humility, Forgiveness, Patience, Kindness, Peace, Joy, Goodness, and Love. 

I witnessed this example firsthand over Christmas.  My In-laws have attended a small town conservative church for over 20 years, yet recently after attending my church and my sister-in-laws church they started to see their church in a different light.  They saw very judgmental attitudes, hateful remarks about homosexuals and sermons on how Barack Obama is the anti-Christ.  This led them to leave their church, a church they literally helped build and remodel, and attend a more Evangelical church in their area. The told everyone they simply needed to move on and grow more spiritually.  The reaction from friends was dismissal, rumors and some friends not even speaking with them.  This church is a perfect example of the "us versus them" mentality and further the negative traits that outsiders are referencing. 

Outsiders claim that we lack grace and this leads them to the perception that Christians are no different than anyone else.

Still the question remains, should we really care what outsiders think?  I think the scarier question is this: What if outsiders are correct about the current state of Christians?

The real question I think we need to ask is this?

What are we failing to portray to the future generations of our faith and outsiders?

If we are lacking in the grace department than we need to take a long hard look in the mirror and we should care about the future generations of our faith.  A recent study showed that Protestant Churches in the US on a whole spent only about 1/8th of their money on youth programs as opposed to 5/8ths on adult and elder programs.  What do these figures tell you about the future of our churches? 

If we, the Christians, have not been modeling the Christian faith properly than we share in the burden of fault but we also hold the key to the solution. 

In the past few months, while researching this subject, I have often brought up this discussion with outsiders and they almost always agree.  I also ask if they found a movement or church that was more based on the traits they claim we lack, would they return to church or be involved with this type of organization and most say yes or they would at least be willing to give it a try.  

In Part Four: Why Perceptions Matter.  We will look at why outsiders perceptions and attitudes matter and why it is mainly our fault.  

Again, I stress that these findings are not easy to face but it is important to examine them and correct our personal walks as well as influence our churches and friends to look at these findings as well. 

Part 4

Christianity 2.0.2: Who's To Blame?

Preface to Christianity 2.0

We are going to look at the 6 biggest themes that draw the most skepticism and
objections from outsiders.

1. Hypocritical
2. Too Focused on Getting Converts
3. Anti-Homosexual
4. Sheltered
5. Too Political
6. Too Judgmental

We are going to look at how these outsiders arrive at these conclusions as well as how these perceptions affect their acceptance of Christ.

We will also look at how we can change these perceptions and how to build bridges to reach these generations while not compromising our own faith and values.

I will also look at a concept I call the "Followers of the Way" or simply Followers. This is a reference to the early followers of Jesus and we will look at biblical examples of early church followers as opposed to modern day Christians and how we can return to an early form of Christianity.

This is not an effort to be more popular or to accommodate for outsiders but as a way to engage these generations and improve the image of Christianity.

Please understand that you may not agree with the research on the views of outsiders or my recommendations but you should also not ignore it.  We have to deal with outsiders as they are, if we do not, it simply reinforces their criticisms and makes these perceptions more powerful because they go unanswered.

One of the common mistakes of these findings is blaming them on spiritual denial by outsiders.  This is inaccurate however because most perceptions come from experiences with Christians or Churches.  Remember, a majority of these people grew up Christian, went to church camps and participated spiritually weekly if not daily.

I personally work with a Christian home-schooled, evangelical girl now turned atheist lesbian and the son of a Baptist pastor who is now also an atheist. Both can quote scripture inside and out and both know their church history and will use it against Christians when confronted.

Remember, theology is not the problem.  Outsiders claim the 2 main reasons for skepticism comes from personal experiences in a church and relationships with Christians.

What these findings tell me is that our words, actions and lifestyles play a key role in shaping the perceptions of outsiders.  Which is a double edged sword because how we openly live our faith in front of others is often the deciding factor in shaping outsiders perceptions.

50 Million respondents to a Barna Survey claimed to have had a negative sometimes emotionally painful experience with a so-called Christian.

1 in 2 atheists in Generations X and Y claim this as a major reason for their rejection of Christianity.

Clearly, we are the problem.

Let me be very clear here in stating that re-shaping or softening the Bible is not in any way part of my strategy. But, re-shaping the way Christians interact with outsiders is very much part of my strategy.

Outsiders like to talk, debate and argue and Christians must accept this. Outsiders also state that Christians try to use these debates as openings to throw as many arguments at the outsider as possible to persuade them to follow Christianity.  Outsiders stated they felt as if Christians were simply arguing to be right and not really listening to an outsiders genuine concerns.  They also stated that Christians come off as arrogant or thinking they are morally superior than outsiders.

What also may shock you is the fact that many ACTIVE young Christians who participate in a church also raise the same criticisms as outsiders.

Generation X and Y Active Christians say that the modern church is:

Anti-Homosexual
Judgmental
Too Involved in Politics
Hypocritical
Out of Touch with Reality
Insensitive to outsiders

But there is hope.  These same young Christians are the very people working hard to repair these perceptions and change the church to bring it back to a favorable place with their peers.  This, of course, is met with resistance by many "tradition" Christians, many young leaders and authors for change are often labeled as not biblically accurate or using biblical themes in incorrect context.

Jesus spent his entire ministry working with and preaching to sinners, not believers. I believe, That young Christians today need to try to emulate this example.   

A few weeks ago, a young lesbian couple sat in front of me at Church.  They were dressed very nicely, held hands and were obviously very tense about being in a church especially after all the recent emotions surrounding the political measures on gay marriage. During the time of greeting, I walked up to them, shook their hands and welcomed them saying that it was great to have them there. 

Do I agree with their lifestyle?  No.

But I am not the judge, I am trying to be the bridge builder.

We must accept outsiders as they are.  After all, we are all fallen sinners. Our goal as Christians is to build bridges with the outsiders of the world and show them that there is an answer.  The answer is a personal relationship with Jesus.  However, each person must make this decision of their own free will.  We cannot persuade, scare or pressure people into accepting Christ, they must make this decision on their own.  We must set the example and show the outsiders why our relationship with Christ is life-changing and worthy to pursue.

We must openly live the faith we profess.

Part 3

Christianity 2.0.1: What They Think

Preface to these posts

Christians have an image problem.  Many people outside the Christian faith, many of them young adults, have little trust in the Christian faith.

Outsiders admit their emotional and intellectual barriers go up around Christians and they reject Jesus and Christians because they feel Christians are rejecting them.

I don't meet a lot of people who have never heard the word of Jesus Christ.  I do however meet a lot of people who were once Christian but have now left or even worse reject the faith altogether.

Generation X and Y have thrown a whole new dynamic into our faith. These generations are by nature more skeptical.  They are targeted, marketed to and branded more than any other generations in the history of mankind.  Everyone is trying to sell them something. They are also more savvy, technologically advanced and have millions of pieces of information for research or propaganda.

These two generations are also very diverse in values, family, education, careers and leisure. They favor uniqueness over "normal" and put relationships and the need to belong very high on their needs.  They also want to be accepted and they want to feel comfortable.  Perfection is not reality to them and they constantly search for new experiences and sources of motivation.  They want to participate in the process rather than just follow and a vast majority of this population attended a church during high school but then left the church.

In 1996, 85% of this population including all non-believers saw Christianities role in society as favorable. 

That was 1996.

Today:

38% have a bad perception of present day Christians.
30% said Christianity has a negative image with which they would not want to be associated.

Most of this population throws it criticism at the "born again" and "evangelical" Christians and see them as fanatics or political activists. Not because of any theological perspective but because of the arrogance we project to outsiders.

Many outsiders claim to have received "verbal aggression" from Christians.  Many outsiders think Christian means ultra-conservative, anti-gay, anti-choice, angry, violent, il-logical and inflexible.  They also believe Christians cannot debate or logically explain their faith and Christians want to convert everyone or reject them for not converting.  

One theme that kept coming up in these studies was the theme that Christians are presently known more for what they stand against and not what they stand for. And almost all of these issues are political.

Christians today are known for having and Us Versus Them mentality.

As G.W. so un-eloquently put it.  "You're either with us or against us."

Outsiders feel Christians reject them for how they look or what they believe.

The three most dominate beliefs held by outsiders about Christians are:

Christians Are Anti-Homosexual - 91%
Christians Are Judgemental - 87%
Christians Are Hypocritical - 85%

Also mentioned by a majority of outsiders was: Old Fashioned, Too Involved in Politics, Out Of Touch With Younger Generations, Insensitive to Others and Not Accepting of Other Faiths.  

This is what our new generations think about Christianity.

They do however believe that spirituality plays an important role in their life and also feel that the morals and values of Christianity are good.  They simply believe that the modern day Christian church is not an accurate reflection of these morals and values.  

This generation was raised in Christianity but now believes that Christianity is not in pure form and not a reflection of the teachings and example of Jesus Christ.  

Part 2

Christianity 2.0: Preface

 These posts are going to be a huge collaboration of my frustrations, opinions, and my "state of the union" for our faith currently.  It will encompass numerous posts and probably take us into the new year.

I have been extensively researching this topic as this is one of my biggest issues and concerns with Christianity currently.

"What has happened to Christianity and why are we seen as the enemy to many of the younger generations."

Please understand, I am going to quote a lot of data and research from people looking at our faith from the outside and much of it will make you feel uneasy and even angry. I am not writing this as a means to anger my fellow Christians but as a wake up call from the generations that most need our help and support.

It's time we got honest and looked in the mirror.

If we want to reach the younger generations and moreover our own children, then we need to look at this data and make some decisions about how we are going about our faith and how our churches are projecting their image to the world.

I have been frustrated in 2008 by the amount of people I have met that were former Christians, raised in a Christian home or those who view Christianity in a negative light mainly because of the Christians they have encountered or how they were treated by other Christians.

Some will look at this post and say it is blasphemy.  Some will simply let it cross their computer screen and not give it a second thought.  But, I hope a few of you will really read these posts and empathize with the thoughts of people looking at Christianity from the outside and why they think present day Christians are very far from the early church and the teachings of Christ.

We, the believers, are the ones to blame and we need to wake up if we want to reach our children and their generation.

Much of the research and opinions are based on the data from two generations:

Generation Y - born between 1984 and 2002.

Generation X - born between 1965 and 1981

These posts are not Black and White, meaning that I will quote research but it, of course, does not represent each person or Christian but a majority of opinions and views.  If the shoe fits.

This work is not all my own but the labor, research and foresight of many Christians and Christian leaders.  Here is a list of all those involved:

David KinnamanJim HendersonRob BellAndy StanleyGabe LyonsGeorge BarnaDan KimballThom RainerMichael FletcherEd StetzerThe Barna GroupThe Fermi Project

Thank you all for your guidance, help and research.  May God help us change lives.

Part 1