Out Of Hiding

Okay, I've been hiding long enough.  The emails I've been getting from people wondering where I am is getting overwhelming. 

Although, Legacy Dad continues to get great traffic even though I am not writing?

All is well, the move went well, my wife aced all her finals and is still a 4.0 GPA, she will probably graduate Summa Cum Laude. (smarty pants!)

The family is getting settled and I am once again deep in learning my third language on top of trying to get back into shape.  This equates to dieting, which I hate,  running 10-15 miles per week and hitting the gym 3 times per week.   

I've been looking for some inspiration to help me write but really it's not there? 

Rather than force it, I figure I will write at periodic times when things come to me rather than trying to post 3 times per week.

So, life is good...

...except for the diet

Break Time

Hello everyone.  I have been getting emails from people wondering where I am? 

I am in a time intensive school right now.
My wife if taking finals and writing research papers.
and we are moving in 2 weeks.

So, I am taking some time off from the blog but I will be back in a few weeks to pick up where we left off. 

Hope everyone is well. 

See you soon...

Wordless Wednesday: Carson Falls, Canada

What Women Really Want: Part II

Today we continue What Women Really Want, those strange creatures that vexus, trap us and then end up living with us for years and years. 

I thought I knew women after studying and studying and trying tofigure them out but I am finding everyday they are still a mystery tome. 

So, I read all the marriage books (so you don't have to) and try togive the cliff notes version here on Legacy Dad.  Recently I have beenlistening to the Audiobook of
For Men Only and have learned some pretty profound stuff, read on...

Epiphany #3 - Sex

Do I have your attention now? 

I think if you ask any guy if he would like more sex, the answer would be "yes to the 100th power."   

However, when women were surveyed, they had some other answers and guys, if we want more sex, we need to take notes and listen. 

First, women need longer to warm up.  Men are like Ferrari 355 Spyder's, pop the clutch and it's 0 to 60 in 3.4 seconds.  Women, however are like an 18 Wheeler going through a mountain pass.  They need to slowly work through the gears to get up to full sexual speed. 

Women stated that they would like more sex too but sometimes their bodies simply will not allow it without some jumpstarting.  How do you do this? 

For starters, sex starts in a woman's mind and heart.  Therefore the sex starts early on in the day with your treatment of her, flirting, comments and gestures and your emotional connectedness to her.  If a woman does not feel emotionally connected to her man, forget sex.   

Also, women reported that your physical body has very little to do with her wanting sex.  As guys, we are attracted visually.  We see our wife looking sexy and we become aroused.  For women, this has little to no effect on them.  So, all the Men's Health models can take a flying leap with their abs diet!!!  Just Kidding.  Women are attracted by your treatment or her and your pursuit of her. 

Women reported that they live to be pursued.  Throughout the day, you need to send her notes, emails, or give her a call and whisper thoughts into her mind.  Which leads to the next area.  Women need to feel that you find them sexy.  Tell her throughout the day how beautiful and sexy she looks.  Send her an email saying that the outfit she put on this morning has been crossing your thoughts all day and you can't stop thinking about her. 

Next, sex does not equal closeness for women.  For men, we can have sex and this makes us feel close to our wives.  For women, the closeness must come before the sex.  You also need to prep the environment.   After a long day of kids, housework, and her job she needs time to unwind and become intimate.   Get her a glass of wine, put on some soft music and draw her a hot bath.  This all adds to the environment and helps her relax to try to let her mind go towards sex.   

Now this part you are not going to like. 

According to Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington, men who help out and do housework have better marriages and a healthier and more frequent sex life.  So make dinner, do the dishes and get the kids to bed and watch the sparks fly.  70% of women with school age children or jobs outside the home said this would greatly increase sexually frequency in their marriages.

Lastly, here are some tips from women who when surveyed, said they wanted the same amount or less sex than they were already having.  These tips, they said,would make them want more sex. 

1. Pay more attention to her
2. Show loving gestures and comments throughout the day.
3. Have meaningful and caring conversations with her.
4. Women need to feel sexy outside the bedroom - comments during the day. 

Finally, women also said sometimes they just can't do it.  When this happens we have to accept it and still be loving, caring, and (gulp) cuddle.  When you are doing the above actions consistently, you will have more sex in your marriage, period.

And one last thing, women surveyed also said that some basic hygiene would also go a long way.  Think about men, when we were dating or single, we wouldn't go out without showering, shaving and brushing our teeth, does our wife deserve any less.  This may seem trivial but it was listed by many women surveyed. 

So I hope you read this piece and took notes because it does work.  Ask my wife!!! 

Now go forth and have...well you know.

We All Have A Religion: Part I

I run into many people in my travels: Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, Agnostics and Atheists and I often wonder why they believe what they believe?  What is their frame of reference?   I've come to learn in my travels that everyone has a religion, even those who denounce it. 

Furthermore, it perplexes me when I see people who attend the same church as me, hear the same sermons and teachings yet interpret them in such a radically different way and live their lives in such an un-Christian way.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint but I know enough not to violate the basics tenants of Christianity and marriage. 

What I am learning is that we all have our own worldview or our own glasses that we view the world through based on our upbringing, values, morals, beliefs and life experiences.  This view begins from an early age and is predominately influenced by our parents, therefore we adopt our parents
worldviews initially. 

Having spent a good deal of time now researching parenting and leaning on my wifes degree in Early Childhood Education, it is amazing what you can learn by observing children.  Let me spend a few hours with your children and I can tell you their parents worldview, prejudices and their morals and values. 

So, we all start with this small map that is heavily influenced by our parents and as we grow, we choose whether to expand our map or not.  Some people spend their entire lives simply inheriting their parents worldviews and they are happy with that. 

I am often complemented on how "worldly" I am.  When I was young, I thought this was an insult or derogatory statement but soon I learned this meant experienced in human affairs; sophisticated or worldly-wise.  I then begin to see that I did view the world from a different light.  I have been to over 30 different countries and have learned and lived with many different religions and cultures and that has influenced my own worldview sometimes with biases or prejudices.

We all have a certain worldview that must be constantly updated andrevised as we findourselves exposed to new information. If our viewpoint is narrow, misleadingand outdated, then we will be lost. The same applies to ourlife experiences. A bitter childhood can leave a person with the falseidea that the world is a hostile and inhuman place. Yet,if the person has to grow, he must set aside this prejudice and revisehis worldview. Being true also implies a life of genuineself-examination, a willingness to be personally challenged by others,and total honesty to oneself and others.

Therefore, this week we will look at our own worldview, what influences and hinders our worldview and why we need to strive to expand our worldview and thus our experience and how this ultimately enhances and leads us to further spiritual growth.

This will also give us a greater awareness of what we are teaching and giving to our children as a worldview inheritance and how we can structure that to be as clear as possible and also teach our children to not just take our worldview but to go out and find there own. 

This may be a touchy subject for some because I have met many parents who want to create clones of themselves or who want their children to be what they were not instead of encouraging and fostering a household to help children find their own worldviews, passions and beliefs. 

So prepare for some controversy and exciting studies this week. 

Who's Plan Am I Following?

First, I am still alive and kickin'.  Though I have not been posting lately. 

I went to an annual private get-together of investors and entrepreneurs a few weeks back and had a phenomenal time.   Some of these people I've known for the last 10 years and have watched them build businesses, investments and retire young. 

Since then, I have been working hard on a business concept and scouting locations and doing my due diligence on this type of business.  I will keep you posted as it works out.

Secondly, we are preparing to move again.  Started the prep work already.  Ugh!

Third, I was offered a truly great job opportunity and have been deeply researching and praying over this. 

Which brings me to todays post. 

When I pray, I ask God to guide me and show me which path he wishes me to take.  I guess that way, I can feel reassured that whatever direction I take, it's in the direction God wants me to go. 

This still does not relieve the stress though of making life changing decisions, especially when the family is concerned. 

I often wonder, am I following God's plan for me?

Wouldn't it be great if we could grab a cup of coffee with God and ask him to quick pop in the DVD of our life and just watch the next few scenes to be assured that we are following the correct path? 

God doesn't work that way. 

What I have found is that God specifically doesn't show us the next steps because he wants us to grow and make these steps on our own, with his help.   Part of the process of getting to the next level is having faith and walking in that faith. 

There is a selection process in the military where you are carrying roughly 80 pounds on your back and haven't slept in a few days. 

You reach a checkpoint and the evaluators are sipping coffee by a fire, they simply give you a compass azimuth and tell you to walk.  There is no distance given.  It could be 2 miles or 20 miles.  This goes on for days.

The purpose is to see how far you will go and how motivated you can stay when your mind starts telling you to quit.

I sometimes wonder if God works this way? 

He wants to see how far we are willing to go.

Are we going to give up or follow his plan. 

I heard a great quote this weekend "God has a plan and if you are not willing to take up the cross and follow it, he will find someone else who will.  God doesn't lose out, we do."

If you have ever read the book of Acts, you know that Paul went through a similar selection process with God.  He was shipwrecked, re-routed, delayed by months and literally walked across Turkey following God's plan for him. 

How many of us would walk across the country following God's plan? 

I guess what it all comes down to is faith and prayer.  We build our faith daily by taking small steps and we pray for God's guidance before the major forks in the roads of our life appear. 

Lately, I feel like I'm not at a fork but a clover leaf off ramp!  I guess I need more prayer, more faith and to follow the words God told his people over and over in the Bible. 

"Be Strong and Courageous"

The Lies We Believe

  I watched a great documentary this weekend called Maxed Out.  It addressed the growing concern of the lack of financial awareness in the US and the growing debt industry. 

It featured some of the tricks used by those in the credit card, collections and debt industry and how they are preying on people with little or no knowledge of financial awareness. 

Some of the features included:

How credit card companies target college students and the low income earners.

How credit collectors harass and trick people into giving them money.

How credit bureaus are aware of inaccuracies on your credit report but refuse to fix them.

Which major banks and credit cards contribute to politicians in Washington to continue their cause.

I also found it amusing to see that so-called financial gurus like Suze Orman have marketing contracts with companies like FICO.

It also addressed why credit card companies do not want you to pay your debts because they project to earn $2 in interest and fees for every $1 you spend.   

I also found it unnerving to see that some credit card companies purposely hold your checks so you go over your due date and then they can charge you a late fee.

The saddest parts of this movie are when they interview friends and family of people who have committed suicide because of their debts.  They also talk with a 57 year old woman who survives by selling her possessions daily at a garage sale.
   
She breaks down and admits that "she is 57 and is about to lose everything.  No one prepares for this." 

She later admits, while sobbing, that she has often thought of suicide but could not put her children through that. 

It's a huge eye opener and displays further evidence for the need to teach our children financial responsibility, as well as the rest of the nation.

Now it's true, no one makes these people accept these credit cards and it is a dilemma of their own making, but I still feel compassion for their lack of financial awareness. 

You can check out a version of the movie on Google Here but I recommend buying a copy and them sharing it with those you love. 

Investing With Morals?

My buddy Dave over at Warriors Hand posted a comment about my recent post on Investing in the Visa IPO I think he has some valid points in his comments and we can all learn from them, here is his comments:

Ok, here's a challenge for you brother! I'm financial planning challenged so I have bought in hook/line/sinker to Christian financial counselor Dave Ramsey (who is a more modern version of Larry Burkett). He is major "anti-debt", and uses several Biblical arguments (OT & NT) to suggest debt for the Christian is wrong (ie,debtor is slave to the lender). Not to mention investing in a company that makes its livelihood off of putting others in debt. Have you looked at his stuff at all?

Okay, first off I am a big Dave Ramsey fan as well.  I believe in our personal finances we should become debt free and once we start investing, we should try to remain debt free or pay off our investments.  Sometimes this is not possible though. 

For instance.  I want to buy a 110 Unit apartment complex in Houston, TX. Without getting into the weeds on details, the apartment costs $1.2M and has a competent management and maintenance team in place. I have $300,000 for a down payment or roughly 25% and will get a mortgage for $900,000.  After all expenses and the mortgage payments, the apartment produces roughly $70,000 per year in income for me. 

Now, If I would try to do the 100% down plan, Dave speaks of, this investment would probably not be a possibility for most.  However, through my income of $70,000 per year, appreciation in the property itself and reduction in the mortgage, I could be free and clear on this property in maybe 10 years.   In my book, a smart investment. 

Back to the original question.   When I invest, I look at figures, profits, management and a number of other factors, however in most cases, I do not look at the companies activities and if they are consistent with my beliefs or not.  For me, investing is an unemotional process.  This may be different for each investor and each investor has to determine if they want to support a company that is in line with their core beliefs or not.

To answer Dave's question though, Visa is not the villain.

Visa is simply a clearing house for transactions.  They do not charge rates, late fees or give people credit.  That is the domain of the issuing bank that issues the credit card (Capital One, MBNA, Citigroup) So in a sense, Visa is not the villain.  Plus, Visa is on your debit card right?  Do they charge you interest for having a debit card? No. 

Also, Dave Ramsey accepts credit cards for payment on his own website. 

This is a great question though and leads us to some further examination into credit cards and credit practices, which is the topic of Fridays Post.  The Lies We Believe.

Great Question Dave.