A Time To Pray

Do you believe in the power if prayer?  You should.

A University of California - San Fransisco Study showed in a double blind test that patients who were prayed for healed faster than those who were not prayed for.

PrayerIn the past few years, I have really witnessed the power of prayer in my life.  I believe it is because I have matured as a Christian and learned how to pray. 

When I was younger I would pray in times of need or despair.  We have all done this. 

"God, please help me get this promotion and I will be your faithful servant."
"God, please heal so and so and I will devote my life to you."

With maturity as a Christian, I have now learned to ask God to work through me to expand and show me what his will is for my life.  I ask God for him to reveal his plans to me rather than trying to ask God to make my plans become reality.

Recently I heard of some great questions to ask in prayer to help this process.

1. God, is there someone who needs to be loved, cared for or listened to?

2. God, Is there something in my life that needs to change?

3. God, how do you see me?

4. God, how much do you love me?

5. God, is there something that you want me the share?

These questions are great to add to our daily prayers and devotions and the magic thing is that when we ask questions of God, he usually answers in some way.  Whether through an act, another person, or a feeling deep inside of us.

The really question is when we ask God for something, do we listen to his response?

For more on this topic, listen to this weeks message on prayer.
 

In Loving Memory

I have been supporting Alex's Lemonade Stand for the past 4 years, here is a letter from her parents on the fourth anniversary of her death. 

In Loving Memory of Alexandra "Alex" Scott, January 18, 1996 -
August 1, 2004

A life cut short, but a legacy that lives on forever...

Dear Friends of Alex's Lemonade Stand,

Four years ago today, we said goodbye to our only daughter Alex, as we held her one last time and watched her peacefully drift away. After fighting cancer for more than 7 years, her body was weakened but clearly her incredible spirit was not.  We were amazed at her ability to greet each good day with a smile and each bad day with a quiet resolve and hope for a better tomorrow. Even at the end of her life, when she was sickest and weakest, her strength of spirit was apparent in her determination to find a cure for other children. 

Sometimes it is hard to believe that it has been four years since Alex died, and at other times we miss her so desperately that it feels like a lifetime.  At the end of her life, we were deeply saddened and extremely scared as we tried to imagine a life without her. It was shortly after her death, that we realized she was still very much present in our lives as we continued to receive letters and donations from supporters all around the world. Today we know that she lives on, not only in our hearts, but in the hearts of everyone she has touched, every stand host who has held a stand, and every child with cancer. 

In our perfect world, Alex would be with us today - healthy, happy, and heading into her teenage years.  However, Alex herself taught us that we should appreciate what we have in our lives, rather than dwelling on what we do not have.  So, in that spirit, we want each of you to know how much we appreciate your support of Alex's Lemonade Stand -- it inspires and comforts us each day to know that Alex's spirit lives on in the legacy of hope you all have continued. 

Please read on to learn about the amazing legacy you are all a part of.

Best wishes,
Liz and Jay

Where The Hell Is Matt?

I just found this video today from my friend over at MetroDad my prayers go out to you and your wife as you deal with your father-in-laws cancer.

Some people may not get this video, especially if you have never left the US or never visited a "non-tourist" country.

This video is so powerful for me personally because my profession has taken me to around 50 different countries in the world and when you cut through all the crap, we are all human and want the same basic needs in life. 

When you don't see race
When you don't see color
When you don't see religion
When you don't hear language

You find your brothers and sisters,  anywhere in the world.

Hope this makes you smile :)

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/1211060 w=480&h=344]
Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Ill-Fated Legacies: Success, Significance, and Wants and Needs

Two of the books I'm reading recently converged on the same topic on parenting.  One of the ill-fated legacies in America today is the love of excess and the pursuit of so-called success.   When I speak of these terms, I am speaking in the terms your children hear on the television, in school, from friends and from parents. 

More is better
Success is measured in dollars
Status is important
Get to the top by any means
Lose weight, look sexier, wear designer clothing, etc. 

Our children are bombarded by these messages and sadly we, as parents, sometimes encourage these habits as well.

I remember hearing a story on the news of an 18 year old girl who died following a breast implant surgery, which was a high school graduation present, and the story was focusing on the doctor and if he was at fault.

Picture_1

In my mind, I was thinking "WHO GIVES THEIR DAUGHTER A BREAST IMPLANT SURGERY FOR A GRADUATION PRESENT?"   But apparently, this is common in some upper class urban areas? 

What we place value on in our own lives, our children will emulate.

When I was in my early 20's, I worked near the Microsoft campus in Redmond, WA.  I drove to work next to Porsche's, Ferrari's and Mercedes all day and all I could think of was the day I would earn enough to have one of those.  15 years later, a car is a mode of transportation, not an extension of my ego or success and the best cars are the ones paid for not costing me $300 per month in car payments.

Now don't get me wrong, if you are making $350,000 per year, a $50,000 car is not such a big deal.  But if your spending half of your annual income or more on a vehicle?   That's a little excessive. Luxury Fever by Robert H. Frank goes into nauseating detail to the lengths and dollars that American's will go to "look hip" and luxurious.   

IphoneiPhones, Plasma Screens and Blue Ray DVD's ring a bell?

Money, however, is not the only object we place ill fated value on. The pursuit of Significance and Success is a trap that men fall into at a very early age.  We tend to rate our happiness and our families on the amount of income we make, the size of our house, the amount of material things we can provide, and our own career advancement. 

What are we teaching our sons? 

The goal in life is to get the sexiest wife (with implants), a big house in the "right" suburb, a nice foreign car, and a VP position at XYZ Corporation.            

Once you have all this, you will be happy!   

Wait no, next on the hierarchy is Significance.  This is when money doesn't bring happiness anymore and now we are in it for the accolades and applause, the write-ups in the local paper and academia speaking our name with reverence. Maybe if we get enough attention and press, our own parents, who didn't love us enough, will finally give us the love that we wanted as a child?

I hope you see that I am being facetious.  As with all of my presumptions, there is safety in moderation. I also believe that we as parents don't openly tell our kids these messages but they take form in a more subtle and subliminal way.      

The greatest clarity of my life and what I hope to pass on to my children is when we and our children realize that we do not need more.  We can relax and be happy and get out of societies rat race by simply refusing to play their silly game.Success

Contentment comes with being happy with who we are and what we have.  We excel in our strengths and work on and ask for God's grace with our weaknesses.  A person who lives their life with morals, integrity, and character will have a sense of contentment and freedom unlike any other.

Our example will teach our children an important lesson about life's priorities.

But if we as parents don't reconcile our wants and desires with honesty, integrity, and humility; why would our children?

Stephen Covey has is right: "Put First Things First." But even before that, define what "first things" are. Define to our children what is truly important in life and then model that by our actions and words.

I'm done preaching. :) 

Listen to Tim's advice

http://iquestions.lightcastmedia.com/embed/dT0zMDc2JnZpZD00NTI0JmVrZXk9YWYzZTk1Nzk

Caught Not Taught

I had the privilege of hearing Craig Jutila give a speech last week on parenting. 
Craig 
Craig is a legend in the children's ministry world and was the Children's Pastor at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church for over 13 years. 

His talk was on how our children are not taught but catch things we do by our modeling and actions.

He used a great acrostic to illustrate his point. 

M-O-D-E-L

M - Manage your time. It is very easy these days to devote our time to the wrong areas of our lives.   Jobs, sports, friends, television, hobbies, the internet.  All these areas vie for our precious time but they do not enrich our family.  Quality time with our family and children is where we need to invest our most precious resource to ensure a healthy family and home life.   

Ephesians 5:15-16 "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise making the most of your time, because  the days are evil."

O - Observe Teachable Moments. These are those moments when life happens and you have to be prepared to teach your children a lesson from them.  Your child or their friends steal something, you help a homeless person, your children are turned down for a position or part.  These moments can pop up at any time and require you as a parent to step in and provide guidance and wisdom.  My friend Tim Kimmel even goes as far as suggesting we should have Designed Dilemmas in order to teach these lessons. 

Deuteronomy 6: 6-8  "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home andwhen you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads."

D- Date Your Family. Read the studies, they all show that children (and wives) want more time with their dads and husbands.  We have to make it a priority to spend time each day with our families, real quality time.  I really like spending time as a family each week as well as spending a least an hour each week, alone with each child.  I take my kids to Starbucks or Jamba Juice and just talk and ask them about their lives. 

E - Encourage Your Kids.  Some of most wonderful words to come from a parents mouth are these: 

"You're really good at..."

"You make me so proud because..."

"I love the way you..."

Kids constantly look towards their parents for affirmation and to see if they are "getting it right."  They want guidance and they want us to tell them when they are doing right and wrong.   We have to encourage them but we must be sure to encourage them in the proper areas.  Faith, Morals, Character and Values should be the top priority.

Hebrews 10:24  "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works."

L - Learn From Difficulty.  Out of difficulty comes growth, out of growth comes character. Dr. Gary Smalley found that one of the traits shared by successful families is camping.  Camping allows families to spend time together enjoying God's creation and it also presents many difficulties to endure and learn from together.  (See SurvivorDad)  We have to show our kids that yes, parents fail, make mistakes and have difficulty in life and then show them how we deal with these difficulties. 

James 1:2-4  "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

   

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