True Confidence: Part 1
"I'm too young"
"I'm too old"
"I don't have enough education"
"Is this really what God wants for me?'
We all have an mp3 track that plays over and over in our heads sometimes telling us that we are not good enough to accomplish our goals and passions in life.
When you are at the starting line and the gun goes off, that is not a time to hesitate.
When you are at the free throw line and your team is down with a few seconds left, that is not a time for uncertainty.
When you 're on the high dive with the judges below and the Chinese divers are leading, that is not the time to be asking yourself "Can I really do this?"
George Barna did a study on confidence and discovered that people with confidence were more likely to be successful, more satisfied with their life, more willing to help others, more satisfied in relationships, less affected by stress and more likely to see God as loving, caring and forgiving.
Everyone wants to be confident but many times we hear that same old mp3 playing telling you that someone is better than you, someone is smarter than you, someone is handling life better than you.
Usually this voice we hear is not our own, but the voice of a critical coach, a perfectionist parent or a negative spouse.
And they all want to tell us why we are inadequate and why we do not measure up.
A friend of mine once counseled a teenage girl who had a problem of cutting herself on the arms. She showed him scar after scar on her arm.
My friend asked her what went through her mind when she did this and she said:
"I hear my father telling me I am worthless."
"I hear myself telling me I'm too fat."
"And I hear everyone laughing at me."
I think we all hear these same voices from time to time or maybe I am the only one who is schizophrenic :) 
In Philippians 4:13, Paul makes a profound statement about true confidence.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
During the next few days, we are going to look at biblical confidence, how to instill this in our children and how we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
In The News
I'm not sure if I would act any different? Hopefully God would grant me grace in this situation? DELTONA,Fla. — An angry Deltona father whacked his teenage daughter'sboyfriend with a metal pipe after finding the boy naked in hisdaughter's room. Authorities say the father, 45, didn't even know his daughter had a boyfriend or that theyoungster had been sneaking into the home for more than a year. When he heard noises coming from his daughter's bedroom Thursday morning andsaw a stranger standing naked on the girl's bed, he swung a metal pipe.He then chased the teen out the front door and called police. The boy was taken to the hospital where doctors closed a head wound with staples. The father was charged with aggravated battery on a child and bonded out on $10,000.
It All Goes Back In The Box
We have heard study after study say that it is not what we say that our children follow, but what we do in our day to day actions.
We have also heard the term "Life Is A Game" before but what is truly important is learning ourselves and teaching our children that the game is not scored by the amount of chips, money or houses we acquire. The game is not won by beating all the other opponents or slyly maneuvering our piece around the board. The most important lesson of all is that in the end, when the game is finally over, all the pieces go back in the box.
Everyone keeps score in life. We don't always want to admit it, but we do. What is most important is How we keep score.
The 3 primary ways the world keeps score is:
1. By Comparison
2. By Competition
3. By Climbing Ladders
God however has a different way of keeping score. God tells us not to compare ourselves to others but to Jesus. He tells us not to get caught up in competition but to work together and love one another. And Jesus was never a ladder climber, Jesus was not a CEO. In fact, most times, Jesus was climbing down the ladder to reach the people who needed him most.
So the question is, What are some ways we can live on purpose with Jesus' teachings while also modeling the traits necessary to pass on to our children?
I am going to cover this more in depth over the course of my next few posts but to start off with.
1. Loving More Deeply.
Unfortunately, we can't TiVo life and rewind or fast forward through certain parts. We only get 24 hours in each day. How we spend those hours is up to us. Listen to songs like "Cats in the Cradle" and you will hear over and over again, take time to love those around you and cherish your relationships. Jesus' greatest commandment was love one another.
2. Laugh More Often.
I believe that life is really made up of special moments and memories that we have. The more of these special moments and memories we can create, the greater joy and happiness we and our children will have.
3. Give More Generously.
Let me ask you a question. When your dead, does it matter how much money is still in your checking account? Is your prized baseball card collection really worth not passing it on to a younger generation? On the day that I die, will I have any regrets about the time and energy I spent accumulating worthless items and material possessions? 
4. Playing With Integrity.
The saying is true, "It's not if you win or lose, but how you play the game." Time and time again we see in studies, politics and life that honesty and integrity can shatter your life no matter how high or low you sit. It's better to always take the moral high ground and live with a clear conscience.
5. Grace and Repentance.
God has granted us the greatest grace ever imaginable, so why should we not extend that same grace to our children, spouses, friends and family? Grace Based Parenting is by far the best system of parenting that I have found today. We need to be quick to forgive and slow to pass judgment.
6. The Danger of More.
Everyone is against materialism but many people always want more. We need to model and teach the difference between wants and needs, how to live with contentment, and how more is not always better. Always striving for more can lead to violating the first five principles and also grounds us in the belief that the score is kept by the amount of toys we have.
We need to model and teach our children that the game of life is won by knowing and pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ. And by following the guidelines and teachings of Jesus, we can lead a happier, more content life with richness beyond our dreams.
The wisest people build their lives around what is eternal and then squeeze in what is temporary. Not the other way around.
Because in the end, it all goes back in the box.
A New Direction
I have been praying for months now asking God what direction to take Legacy Dad and finally I have an answer.
I am one man and to think that my struggles, knowledge and experience can relate to all situations is pretty arrogant. There are many fathers with similar situations, struggles and solutions as me and I have decided that I would like to make Legacy Dad a repository for all this knowledge and struggle.
So in the future, there will be multiple authors sharing on Legacy Dad. All of us are at different stages in our lives, walks with Christ and in parenting. We all have different strengths and weaknesses which will lead to a fuller, richer environment here at Legacy Dad.
In the future, I hope to move Legacy Dad to a fully functioning portal where dads can come for advice, support and most of all for a blueprint of how to successful (and not successful) parent using biblical principles and morals.
Get ready, it's going to get exciting around here.
Wordless Wednesday: Fishers of Men
Do You Swing For The Fences With Your Family?
I tell you what, it is easy to get lost in it all.
Imagine trying to cram a Bachelors degree in Psychology into 6 months! Spending 6-8 hours per day going to class. Your mind and emotions simply turn off around 4:00PM, but you still have a good 6-7 hours of work and family time left in the day.
Then coming home with 2-3 hours of homework and clinical trials to do also.
Now imagine doing all this while still trying to be a Legacy Dad, spending time with your wife and kids and being a strong Christian?
This is my life right now and it's not fun. 
Lately I have been really negative and my family has been suffering. This course was one of those "it sounded good at the time" kinda things. You may have noticed my postings on Legacy Dad have really fallen off and most contain little substance, for this I apologize.
However, I don't share this with you to have a pity party for myself but to share with you my recent breakthrough. In times like this, we need to draw closer to God and surround our lives with his word.
Recently, I found this great sermon called "Swing For The Fences."
It tells us 3 things:
1. Get Committed - To our faith, our family and our lives
2. Get Coaching - A mentor who kicks you in the pants and makes you drive yourself.
3. Stay Confident - You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
When you get some time this week, take 20 minutes and watch this sermon, it will give you a new perspective and give you that kick in the pants you need. It does for me.
Watch it here: http://www.legacydad.com/sermons/S4TF.mp4
Freedom
Freedom.
The final cry of William Wallace in Braveheart.
A song by Rage Against the Machine about an injustice to a Native American.
What every boy needs to find his passions and develop his soul.
When I reflect on my youth, I often remember the days spent running wild through the neighborhood with my friends. We would leave at 9:00AM and not return sometimes until before supper. These days, you would have a specialist at your door if you left your kids unattended for this long. But, in the 80's, this was the SOP.
We spent our days exploring the world, having makeshift gun battles with our rivals "The Green Fort" and climbing trees while living dangerously.
These days, I don't see many kids being allowed the freedom to roam and explore. Even in their own neighborhood, parents are always right behind them, never letting them do anything too dangerous.
Then there is the ultra extreme parents, who keep their kids locked inside. They can never jump on the trampoline, never ride their bike off a ramp and aren't allowed out of their yard if they do come out.
I understand that these parents are well meaning and are probably thinking of their children's safety but what message are they sending to their children?
You can't be trusted
The world is dangerous
Don't take risks
I often site the research done by Dr. Thomas Stanley on the countries most financially productive people, one of the top 5 traits of these people is risk taking.
Call me crazy but I believe that kids, especially boys, need to be allowed the freedom to run and explore once they hit around the age of 8-9. They need to climb trees, hunt "jaguars" in the field, and explore the boundaries beyond the local block.
However, this is not the 80's and we do keep an "electronic leash" on our kids. We give them a small 2 way radio, that way Mom and Dad can call and check on them at any time.
Allowing my children the freedom to explore and play unsupervised creates a field test in the real world of Legacy Dad. As I have said in the past, I not only want my kids to display great character traits when I am present, more so, I want them to display great character traits when I am not present. This is crucial because soon in life, I will not be there and then it is them and the world and they will make the choice.
At least if they make a poor decision now, they can always run home and I will hear about it.
I encourage my kids to overcome their fears, push the boundaries a little and take a few risks. They are young, they will make mistakes and sometimes they may get some bumps and bruises. But, I would rather deal with a skinned up knee or a bloody nose now than having to deal with a wounded heart later in life or a 20 something that is out of control because it is the first time mom and dad let the reigns go.
Just some thoughts?