Good Parents, Bad Results - Part 1

By Nancy Shute
Posted June 12, 2008

Does your 3-year-old throw a five-alarm tantrum every time you drop him off at day care?

Does "you're so smart!" fail to inspire your 8-year-old to turn off Grand Theft Auto IV and tackle his math homework? Do the clothes remain glued to your teenager's bedroom floor,along with your antisocial teenager, no matter how much you nag or cajole?

Being a parent has never been easy—just ask your own. But in this day of two-earner couples and single parents, when 9-year-olds have cellphones, 2-year-olds are binge drinking and having oral sex, and there is evidence that teens are more fearful and depressed than ever, the challenges of rearing competent and loving human beings are enough to make a parent seek help from Supernanny.

Actually, there is something better.  Researchers have spent decades studying what motivates children to behave and can now say exactly what discipline methods work and what don't: Call it "evidence-based parenting." Alas, many of parents' favorite strategies are scientifically proven to fail. "It's intuitive to scream at your child to change their behavior, even though the research is unequivocal that it won't work," says Alan Kazdin, a psychologist who directs the Yale Parenting Center and Child Conduct Clinic.

Other examples:

• Yelling and reasoning are equally ineffective; kids tune out both.
• Praise doesn't spoil a child; it's one of the most powerful tools that parents can use to influence a child's actions. But most parents squander praise by using it generically —"you're so smart" or "good job!"—or skimping.
• Spanking and other harsh punishments ("You're grounded for a month!") do stop bad behavior but only temporarily. Punishment works only if it's mild, and it is far outweighed by positive reinforcement of good behavior.

As yet, few of the bestselling books and videos that promise to turn surly brats into little buttercups make use of this knowledge. That may be because the research goes on in academia—at Yale, at Vermont's Behavior Therapy and Psychotherapy Center, and at the University of Washington's Parenting Clinic, for example. Surprisingly, many family therapists and parenting educators aren't up to speed on the research, either, so that parents who seek professional help won't necessarily get the most proven advice.

Case in point: Just 16 programs designed for treating kids with disruptive behavior have been proven "well established" in randomized clinical trials, according to a review led by Sheila Eyberg at the University of Florida and published in the January Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. Kazdin, who for years has pushed clinical psychologists to adopt evidence-based methods, published a book for parents earlier this year: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. Other lab-tested tomes include Parenting the Strong-Willed Child by Rex Forehand and Nicholas Long and The Incredible Years by Carolyn Webster-Stratton.

These discipline programs are grounded in classical behavioral psychology—the positive reinforcement taught in Psych 101. Researchers have run randomized controlled trials on all the nuances of typical parent-child interactions and thus can say just how long a timeout should last to be effective or how to praise a 13-year-old so that he beams when he takes out the trash. Who knew that effectively praising a child in order to motivate her has three essential steps?

They are:
1) Praise effusively, with the enthusiasm of a Powerball winner.
2) Say exactly what the child did right.
3) Finish with a touch or hug.

What else can parents learn from the science? Researchers say these are the biggest common boo-boos:

1. Parents fail at setting limits

It would be hard to find a parent who doesn't agree that setting and enforcing rules are an essential part of the job description. Yet faced with whining, pouting, and tantrums, many parents cave. "The limited time you have with your kids, you want to make it ideal for them," says Forehand, a professor of psychology at the University of Vermont whose evidence-based program is outlined in his book. "As a result, we end up overindulging our kids."

But, paradoxically, not having limits has been proven to make children more defiant and rebellious, because they feel unsafe and push to see if parents will respond. Research since the 1960s on parenting styles has found that a child whose mom and dad are permissive is more likely to have problems in school and abuse drugs and alcohol as teenagers. "Parents ask their 1-year-olds what they want for dinner now," says Jean Twenge, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of Generation Me. "No one ever said that a generation or two ago." Using surveys dating back to the 1930s, Twenge has found significant increases in reported symptoms of depression and anxiety among today's children and teenagers, compared with earlier generations.

Suniya Luthar, a psychologist at Columbia University Teachers College, reported in 2003 that children who are showered with advantages are more likely to be depressed and anxious and to abuse drugs and alcohol than the norm. Luthar says that's probably because those children are under a lot of pressure to achieve at school and think that their parents value their achievements more than themselves. They also feel isolated from their parents.

Rule-setting works best when parents give simple, clear commands and discuss the family rules with kids well in advance of a conflict, according to Robert Hendren, a professor of psychiatry at the Medical Investigation of Neurodevelopmental Disorders Institute at the University of California-Davis and president of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

A common recommendation for parents who fear coming off as a meanie: Let the child choose between two options when either choice is acceptable to the parent. A half-hour of Nintendo right after school, then homework? All homework before game time?

Consistency is also key. "I have to be very strict with myself and go over and tell him the rules and walk away," says Lauren Jordan, a stay-at-home mom in Essex Junction, Vt.,whose 4-year-old son, Peter, would scream and hit Jordan and her husband, Sean, then kick the wall during timeout. "It felt out of control." Jordan signed up with Vermont's Behavior Therapy and Psychotherapy Center to learn Forehand's five-week process.

The first week was spent just "attending" to Peter, watching him play and commenting without telling the preschooler what to do. "He loved it," says Jordan, whose older son has autism and has required an outsize share of her energy. "I realized at that point that he needs this one-on-one attention." Jordan then had to learn to ignore Peter's minor bad behavior (such as screaming for attention while Mom is on the phone) and to not rush in to scold him during a timeout. "Consistency is the key. It's not easy," Jordan says. "But it's made our home a much happier place."

The Truth Within You

First we begin with the truth, that God loved us so much that he sent his only son to die for us, which we will refer to G.R.A.C.E (God's Riches At Christ's Expense). Jesus came and died for our sins suffering the weight of all of our sins on the cross. To find out who Jesus Christ should be in your life read the entire Book of John when you have time to read, pray and reflect.

  

Christianity is grounded in facts and evidence, both historical and scientific. Its claims about God, God’s creation, God’s plan of redemption, the Bible, the ministry, miracles and above all – the resurrection of Jesus can be objectively verified through evidences by studying astronomy, physics, molecular biology and genetics, archaeology, history, the Bible and ancient non-Biblical documents. These claims are not merely imposed as “truth” by one person through some revelation. Therefore Christianity (and Judaism) stands on a foundation of evidence completely different from other religions.

In June 1986 archaeologists of Tel Aviv University announced discovery of two small silver scolls or amulets. These two silver scrolls were found in 1979 deep inside a burial cave at a site known as Ketef Hinnom, west of the old city of Jerusalem. They were hidden at the back of the tomb embedded in pottery fashioned as early as the seventh century BC. Seven years later the fragile silver scrolls were opened and their texts deciphered. The silver scrolls contain an excerpt from Numbers 6:24-26, also known as the Priestly Benediction. In English the verses read: “The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”.  The importance of this find can hardly be overstated. It proves this section of Numbers was written at least 2,600 years ago. This Old Testament passage is 400 years older than the oldest Dead Sea Scrolls manuscripts, and perhaps even older yet. This makes the silver scrolls the oldest Biblical text confirmed through archaeology.

There are twelve compelling evidences for the Word of Truth:  

1. The Dead Sea Scrolls: These contain Old Testament manuscripts from 100 years before the birth of Christ, proving that over the centuries the scriptures were very carefully copied and our current texts are close to identical to the original texts.
2. The Septuagint: The first translation from the Hebrew Old Testament to the Greek language, dated from the 285-270 BC timeframe. The Septuagint proves the existence of all the Old books before 300 BC.
3. The canon of the Old Testament: The list of books that now makes up our Old Testament was never under serious dispute, showing these books were accepted, and treated as God’s word almost immediately after they were written.
4. Authorship and dating of the Old Testament: Although most of the Old Testament books are technically anonymous, we have strong internal and external evidences to support the traditional authorship and date of writing for these books.
5. The manuscripts of the New Testament: The abundance (over 25,000 partial and complete texts) and early dating (the earliest papyrus is from 125 AD) of preserved manuscripts of the New Testament shows the reliable preservation of the original texts.
6. Testimony of the 

   Early Church Leaders:

    Additionally there exist over 86,000 quotations from the New Testament texts in the preserved writings of the leaders of the Early Christian church, testifying to the original texts.

7. The canon of the New Testament: The official canon of the New Testament was agreed upon by 397 AD, however, before the year 150 AD, all gospels, Acts and Paul’s epistles were universally accepted as part of the list of Inspired writings. The disagreements in the 3^rd and 4^th century only centered around a few of the smaller New Testament books: James, 2 Peter, 2&3 John, Jude and Revelation.
8. Authorship and dating of the Gospels: Although technically anonymous, there are strong internal and external evidences that support the authorship of the gospels by the names we identify them by today. Mark is generally considered to be the oldest gospel; even liberal scholars will agree on a dating before 70 AD, although more realistic is in the 55-65 timeframe. Luke, Mark and Acts are generally dated in the 60-80 timeframe. The gospel of John is now universally accepted to be written in the 80-90 period.
9. Authorship and dating of Paul’s letters: All substantial letters are universally accepted to be written by the apostle Paul in the 49-65 AD timeframe. That makes these letters likely the earliest written documents in the New Testament.
10.  The ‘lost’ books of the Bible were never ‘lost’: Modern liberal scholars claim recently discovered ‘lost’ or ‘deliberately misplaced’ gospels that claim alternative views on Jesus and His teachings. Famous examples are the ‘gospel of Thomas’, the ‘gospel of Judas’ and the ‘gospel of Mary Magdalene’ (one of the ‘sources’ for the claims of the Da Vinci code). However evidence shows that these gospels were not only written generations after the apostles, but also that the preserved texts were subject to ‘creative editing’ (rewriting) by Gnostic heretic sources.
11.  The historical reliability of the Bible: Archeology and historical analysis again and again show the accuracy of the events, locations and customs mentioned in the Bible accounts. Never has anybody been able to disprove any of the accounts.
12.  The credibility of the eye-witnesses: The eye-witness accounts to Jesus prove to be honest and factual testimonies. The abundance of (irrelevant) detail, consistency of the accounts, as well as between the different gospels, lack of exaggeration and confirmations from extra-Biblical sources prove their credibility.

  The word canon is derived from the Greek word kanon (“kanon”), a rod, ruler, staff, or measuring rod. The Biblical canon is the list of books recognized by the leaders of the church, based on objective criteria, to be inspired by God and to authoritatively and accurately express the historical relationship between God and His people.

For the Old Testament, the canon of the first Bible was initially implicit and undisputed. When the Torah was written, it was immediately recognized as inspired by God, handled with great reverence, maintained by the priests and stored in the Ark of the Covenant. Most other books of the Old Testament were handled in the same manner. The first known effort to have the canon of the Bible determined occurred in 140 AD (known now as Marcion’s canon).  This included 10 of Paul’s letters and the Gospel of Luke. Marcion was a gnostic heretic (he believed the God of the OT was not the God of the NT, and he rejected the humanity of Christ).  He strongly disliked the Jewish aspect of the gospels. His list was soon viewed heretical by Early Church Leaders, but sparked the need for a formal canon. That second century conflict, scholars say, shaped the church’s emphasis on authentic apostolic connection as the main determinant of canonical status. Either a book would be written by an apostle/disciple of Jesus (Matthew, John, Peter, Paul) or by somebody closely associated with an apostle/disciple (Luke via his links to Paul, Peter and others, Mark as the “voice” of Peter, James and Jude as the brothers of Jesus). Consequently some highly regarded writings from second and third generation Christians were excluded (this includes many of the Early Church Leaders discussed earlier). In 397 AD at the first council dedicated to the Bible canon, (at the Council of Carthage) a list was finally compiled and found wide acceptance. There was little disagreement, except for the books of James, Jude (both brothers of Jesus, but not known to be disciples during his lifetime), 2 Peter, 2 and 3 John, and Revelation. These books were later accepted and included in the completed New Testament.

Exegetical Theology focuses on the exegesis, the "explanation" or interpretation, of Holy Scripture on the basis of the languages in which it was originally recorded: Hebrew/Aramaic (Old Testament) and Greek (New Testament). The study of these languages is difficult for some, yet it always rewards those who persevere. In addition to studying Holy Scripture in its original languages, a second accent of exegetical theology is the broadening of biblical knowledge while maintaining a respect for the Bible as God's inerrant Word. A third, and by far the most important, accent of exegetical theology at the seminary is faithful interpretation of Scripture that is centered on Christ. A person can have a vast knowledge of the Hebrew and Greek text of the Bible and still not interpret it properly and profitably if his exegesis does not speak forth Christ and the salvation that Jesus has won for the world.

The Bottom line is this:  I am not going to convince you or anyone else that the Bible is the true Word of God unless you allow God in your life and your are called by Him.  Jesus, himself, said this, ²¹"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²²Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' ²³Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!' (Read Mathew 7 on the Jesus's guidelines for a Christ-ian walk).  Hebrews 4:12 puts it this way, "¹²For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."  Romans 10:17, "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." James 4:8,"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  

Some Christian writers put it this way:

He that reads his Bible to find fault with it will soon discover that the Bible finds fault with him.

C.H. Spurgeon

Defend the Bible?  I would as soon defend a lion!

C.H. Spurgeon

Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself but because it contradicts them.

Author Unknown

Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself but because it contradicts them.

Author Unknown

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Be very sure of this – people never reject the Bible because they cannot understand it.  They understand it too well; they understand that it condemns their own behavior; they understand that it witnesses against their own sins, and summons them to judgment.  They try to believe it is false and useless, because they don't like to believe it is true.

J.C. Ryle

Thoughts for Young Men

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THE CHALLENGE: 

 So here is the challenge to you, draw nearer to God and He will come closer to you.  This week or this month, in fact, for the remainder of the year-I would like to challenge all of you to read the Word of God daily (The Bible), journal your thoughts on Scripture that touches you.  Pray daily (throughout the day).  Confess your sins to other believers who you can walk with.  Meditate daily with Scripture and prayer.  Carry each other's burdens and see what happens in your life this next year.

What Is Legacy Dad?

The biggest change in my life happened when my wife uttered two words to me “I’m Pregnant.”  Excitement, Fear, Anxiety and Love all rushed through my emotional core over the next nine months. I pledged to be the best father I could to my child. 

Now fast forward 5 years.

I was exhausted, working long hours and barely spending time with my children.  My parenting was being out-sourced to teachers, coaches and babysitters.  The crazy thing was that this seemed normal.  All the other dads I knew had similar situations.  Then one night, I was watching the news and a report came on stating that a father’s involvement in a child’s life was the single most influential factor in shaping that child’s morals, values and beliefs.  The difference between raising a Godly, loving adult or a character flawed, criminal. 

This was all great but what can I do? Where do I start?  Who would I listen to?  I, myself, grew up without a father and never had a male role mode? Plus, there are hundreds of books and programs all claiming that their simple steps would make me a stellar father but none of them had proof.  Also, what metrics were they measuring this “great father” model?  I am a Christian and my definition of a good husband and father may differ from the rest of society.  I wanted to raise children of strong character, morals and values.  Children who were leaders, academically successful and well rounded.  Not to mention, passing on my faith and helping them find their own faith and beliefs.  I had the best intentions but had no idea where to start.        

A few weeks later, for some reason, I decided to call my grandfather.  My grandfather had worked hard all his life building his small business.  My grandmother and he still managed to save and invest a considerable amount of money and now they spent most of their time working with charities and their local church.  My grandfather was always a well respected man in his community and church.  He didn’t give big speeches, but when he spoke, people listened.  He also managed to raise 3 wonderful children.  One doctor, my father, (who died of a heart attack before I was born) one nurse, and one son who went into the missionary field.  My grandfather was also awarded the Silver Star in World War II but would never talk about how he received it.  He was liked by almost everyone that met him and it’s safe to say he was a positive male role model.  When I called him, he chuckled when I said I wanted to speak with him about parenting and invited me to his house that night. 

That night, after dinner, my grandfather took me into his study.  I explained to him my struggles and how I wanted to be a good parent for my children.  My grandfather listened intently and then finally said.  “Your father never had a chance to teach you what I taught him.  Many times I wanted to help you but I had to wait until you were ready.”  “Are you ready?” he asked. “Sure” I replied.  “No!  I mean are you really ready?  Every father wants to be a good father but few are willing to go the distance and do what it takes.  Are you ready to do whatever it takes? Are you ready to be the husband and father your family deserves?”  I thought about my wife and children for a few moments, I thought about the news report I had watched and all the problems with the youth in America today and then finally said “Yes, I am.”

Next, my grandfather took me down to his cellar and pointed to a large steamer trunk on the floor.  He pulled out a key and opened it.  Inside was a wooden tray containing an assortment of antiques: My grandfathers Silver Star, an old pocket watch that belonged to by great grandfather and a rusted Colt revolver that belonged to my great-great grandfather.  There were also trinkets from foreign countries and many old papers and notes. My grandfather lifted the tray and underneath was an assortment of books each stacked in groups of 7 or 8 that had a leather strap wrapped around them.  In the middle, my grandfather pulled out a large, antique book that looked liked something out of an old movie.  He opened the book and said “Your journey has begun. Once you read and apply what’s in this book, your questions will be answered” 

The book was really a journal containing writings from what seemed liked numerous authors, translations from foreign languages, sketches and quotes from historical and biblical figures.  I would soon learn that this journal was written over many years by many prominent men and contained the facts and truths about not only raising my children but also how a Godly Christian man should live his life.  It was like having a panel of mentors readily available whenever I needed it. 

I spent the next two years reading the journal and the other books in the trunk, asking many questions of my grandfather and working hard to apply the principles in the journal.  Unfortunately, God took my grandfather home in the third year of my study and as a tribute to him and for my own journal, I started Legacy Dad.  After his passing, I asked my grandmother for the old trunk and the contents.  It now sits in my garage and it’s teachings get filtered through me and explained through trial and error in the world of real parenting here on Legacy Dad.    

The purpose of Legacy Dad is to share the principles in my grandfather’s journal with as many fathers as I can and hopefully create a generation of fathers that leave a real legacy for their children.  A legacy of hope, love, values and tools to empower our children to be the leaders of tomorrow. 

It’s not about raising perfect kids, it’s about raising purpose driven kids that make a difference.

Here is a question for you

The question is this:  What do you do, say, when someone questions the very thing that your whole entire faith relies on, the Word of God, The Bible?

Let me put it another way, someone claims to say that Jesus is Lord and believes that his death represents his salvation and believes in everything Romans 10 stands for, but yet with the same lips, denies the Bible as the very word of God because of James 5 (laying of the hands and healing, or killing a 15 year old girl in Leviticus...etc.,)

What do you say?

Economic Downturn, Mature upturn

How can we separate the ways of this world to the ways of a mature christian? What happens to us when we try to do things on our own without the guidance of the Holy One?  What happens when we put confidence in man and not God, the Father?  I wonder how history will view the current econcomic "downturn" that we are in.  Will history blame the Republicans, the Democrats, or both.  Will they blame Wall Street?  Will the World, as we know it, continue to exist like is has in the past.  Is this the great push toward one United World and one World Bank were all currencies come together.  Could things possibly get any worse.  Will World Leaders be in such despair that the people of this Earth will look for anyone who promises a clear and precise way out? What can we do as Legacy Dads to find the right path is this dire strait that our world is in?  Where can we seek guidance and understanding that will be wisdom and discernment from above?  1 Corinthians 1:²⁷But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  1 Corinthians 3:¹⁸Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise. Hebrews 5: ¹¹We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. ¹²In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! ¹³Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. ¹⁴But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 6: ¹Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death,^[a] and of faith in God,²instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. ³And God permitting, we will do so. 

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So first and foremost, find Wisdom.  The beginning of Wisdom is to fear the Lord (Read Proverbs and James 1:1-16 Now).  Spend time meditating in the Word and reflecting daily.  Pray continuously.  Pray from the heart and not from the mouth just to be heard, God knows our thoughts and the Holy Spirit intercedes for us in our walk.  Humble ourselves and dress daily in humility, remember that God hates the proud (Proverbs 6).  When reading Scripture remember the term:  M.E.A.L.S (Memorize Scripture, Examine Yourselves, Apply these words to your daily lives, Listen to these words and do (listen to people who speak truth into your lives) and Study God's word daily.

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Look for accountability in your life, carry each other's burdens and confess your sins to one another that you can put away the old self and move toward the new and grow in maturity.  Here is a list from a brother of mine to find the Fruit/Proof of Authentic Christianity: A. Love for God (Luke 10:27-28) B. Repentance of Sin (1 John 1:8-10) C. Genuine Humility (James 4:6-10) D. Devotion to God's Glory (Jeremiah 9:23-24 & Psalms 115:1) E. Continual Prayer (James 5:16 & Philippians 4:6) F. Selfless Love (John 13:34-35) G. Spiritual Growth (John 15:1-6 & Ephesians 4:12-16) H. Obedient Living (Mathew 7:21 & Romans 16:25-27) I. Hunger for God's Word (1 Peter 2:1-3) and J. Transformed Life (Romans 12:1-2 & 2 Corinthians 5:17)

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If anything from A through J is missing then lets move back to 2 Corinthians 13:5...

We will discuss further.....

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Wordless Wednesday

A little bit of Faith

Imagine that it is the bottom of the ninth with two outs and the bases are loaded with your home team down three runs.  As you look to the dugout you see little Joey and your insides ache in hopes that your team wins the World Series of Little League baseball.  "Strike one....Strike two....", the umpire shouts.  Little Joey is swinging with all his might, but to no avail the bat is not connecting to those fast pitches.  Your insides ache and your heart is pounding in hopes and faith that little Joey can connect, that he can hit that much needed bat.  Just a little faith, maybe even a prayer and then suddenly you hear that familiar sound, "Thwack..."  Could it be, you don't even look up, as a matter of fact, you close your eyes, and then you hear the stands go wild, there are cheers and you know without even looking up that little Joey hit that grand slam.  The home team wins.

Okay, not good enough you say, how about the miracle on ice in 1980:  

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fea8ZZNVdfg&hl=en&fs=1&w=425&h=344] 

Still not enough, you say, okay how about a little faith in the Miracle on the cross,

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtR5-OoMhPM&hl=en&fs=1&w=425&h=344]

What do you say to someone who has faith in Jesus Christ, who says that he believes in Jesus as Savior and knows that his Redeemer lives, but questions the Word of God, the Bible, and questions whether it was written by men and their interpretations? What do you say to someone who knows Scripture and inherently knows the Bible, but refuses to believe that Job was not a real person.

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Let's take it back a step, what is true repentance of Sin:

Matthew 3:8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

Luke 13:5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish."

 ⁶Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any.⁷So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'

 ⁸" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. ⁹If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "

2 Samuel 12:7 Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. ⁸ I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. ⁹ Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. ¹⁰ Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'

 ¹¹ "This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. ¹² You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.' "

 ¹³ Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." 
      Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.

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Here is what I say:

How can you be sure Jesus Christ was the son of God and believe that he died for our sins?  Romans 10 puts it this way, "⁸But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,"^[d] that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: ⁹That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. ¹¹As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."^[e] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, ¹³for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."^[f]

 ¹⁴How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 

IT IS CALLED FAITH!  Pure and simple faith.  You cannot serve two masters one being faith in Jesus Christ and the other being foolishness saying that the Bible is not the true living Word of God.  You either believe and repent and sin no more, nor try to justify your sins by protesting the very word that says Sanctify yourselves before a Holy God and make yourself a living sacrifice to Him and through the help of the Holy Spirit living a Holy life in order to reach the disconnected.

Acknowledge your sins before a Holy God and let go of any justification that you have.  Believe that repentance of the heart bears fruit and repentance of the lips without fruit is only disobedience. 

Manners Matter

A few weeks ago, my family was waiting to be seated at an Olive Garden.  The front entryway was filled with people desperately wanting to just get a table and eat some food. 

Then, a family walked in with a couple of kids and the mother was pregnant expecting another.  My wife and daughter were seated on a bench and my son was sitting on a chair next to them.  Immediately, my son jumped up and said "Here Ma'am, please take my seat."  The woman gladly accepted and many other women in the room told my son what a great gentlemen he was.  All around the room, other men sat on chairs and benches and no one offered their seat.  It was a 10 year old boy who has been raised with biblical morals and values who knew what the right thing to do was. 

Afterward, I whispered to my son what a wonderful thing he did and how proud I was of him.  He glowed all night because of all the recognition from his simply act of kindness and chivalry.

Another example of Legacy Dad working in the real world.