Love Dare? Fireproofing your marriage!

From their website, "In the movie FIREPROOF, a couple dares to rescue their choking marriage from the flames of divorce and temptation using The Love Dare book as a guide. Now you can take the experience of the film one step further with your own copy of The Love Darebook. This daily devotional steers you through the fiery challenge of developing a strong, committed marriage in a world that threatens to burn it to the ground. The Love Dare personally leads you through daily devotionals, records your thoughts and experiences, and ends each day daring you to perform a simple act of love for your spouse. This 40-Day journey equips you to melt hardened, separated hearts into an enduring love that can withstand the flames of fear, pride and temptation.The Love Dare book will help you reinforce and enrich your marriage, earn back a love you thought was lost, and hear more about the One who not only designed unconditional, sacrificial love—He illustrated it.

In a world that attacks, devalues, and redefines relationships every day, learn how to rescue and protect your marriage from the firestorm. Take The Love Dare and FIREPROOF your relationship."

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I have to admit, I am a skeptic on some of these movies and agree with Lance that these movie guys are borrowing from www.Legacydad.com and helping people in their walks.  Seriously, though, we are all taking biblical principles and trying to apply them to our lives.

On Facebook today, some posted this:  “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now, remember this for the second (or third) time around. It's never too late.If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

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Marriage is between two sinners.  We all have our baggage and pasts that we bring into the marriage.  Some of us, have really good stories and great childhood memories and some of us don't.  Needless to say, none of us are perfect.  We all need Jesus.  Successful marriages need to center Christ in their marriage!

I have had a few friends tell me that they have secretly done this book without telling their wives and have been blessed for it.  I personally, look for the Bible to guide and direct me, but I can tell you that I picked up this book and am doing this with another friend (he isn't telling his wife either) and I shared with him on day 9 or 10 of just how selfish I can still be after all these years.

I am a good dad and a good husband.  I like Lance's blog entry, The Law of the Lid, because for me it is NOT about being good enough - I want to be the best.  I want to hear the words from our Lord, "well done thou good and faithful servant!"  I hope and pray that I can be that accountable to reach that guy with my brothers (from Men of Faith, Lance & Gary).

Some websites to help you along the way:

http://site.themarriagebed.com/headship

http://www.marriagemissions.com/avoiding-emotional-adultery/

1 Peter 3:7 (ESV), "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Thoughts?

Blessings,

Dante

2013 Legacy Dad Bucket List

James 4:13-16 ESV “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.”Every one of us will have an appointed time to die and after that we will all face judgement from our Lord Jesus Christ.  This very fact got me thinking about a bucket list for 2013.  It is not so much as planning to die, but things that I really want to focus on in the next 12 months to come.  Things that I think are seriously important:

My Bucket List for 2013:1.       Read thru the Bible in a year

2.       Lead 12 people to Christ (at least one a month)

3.       Love my wife and family more and serve them more

4.       Buy a homeless person dinner

5.       Spend more time teaching, loving, training and hanging with my wife and three kids

6.       Mentoring

7.       Take random road “day trips” with my family

8.       Train and run for my third marathon

9.       Eat better, exercise more and make the wise choices

10.     Read more with my wife

11.     Grow deeper friendships

12.     Apply biblical truth every day to my life, my wife’s life and my children’s life (more family devotions).

What are some of yours?

Blessings in 2013,Dante

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Happy New Year,

Dante, Lance & Gary!!!

In the midst of tragedy....Jesus still saves

As I drive to work each day and leave my family in hopes to see later in the day, an excitement builds in my heart and mind of the anticipation of those little feet racing to the garage door to greet me with a kiss and a hug and the proverbial, "D A D D Y" while they are running to see me.   As I write this, I cannot help but think of those parents in Connecticut that will not hear those words, here on earth, again.  My heart is saddened as we have a kindergartner in our home.  This tragic event resonates with me, because I see the brokenhearted and the lost and wonder how much pain these individuals must face and in not knowing Jesus how much they are missing.

I wish that I had words and the right actions to help these people, but on this side of heaven I really don't.  So what can I do, how can I help, what would make the difference in my life - to love my children!  To serve my family and church and community and to share the love of Jesus Christ.

In the midst of pain and suffering, there is only one person that I truly know that can say that he has experienced it all - God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  There is only one who can fill whatever void this earth throws into our path.

Turn to scripture and find some comfort food:

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit"

2 Corinthians 1:4-6 "Who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer."

Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Romans 10:9 "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

Psalm 1:1-6 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; ..."

Here at Legacydad, our hearts and prayers go out to those families that are suffering.  My the Lord of Heaven and Earth bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace.

In Christ,

Dante, Lance and Gary!!!

Moral Fiber....

The standard dictionary definition of moral fiber is "strength of character, firmness of purpose, resolution or toughness of spirit."I think what surprises me most in how people, even Christians compromise themselves on a daily basis.  Now before you turn off this post and think, "oh no, here goes another hypocrite" - wait!  I want to explain something to you:  Lance, Gary and myself sin every day.  None of us can sit here and tell you the success of our lives and that would be it, because for us to do that, then we would have to times that by a multiplicity of some factor for all the wrongs we do on a daily basis (ask our wives).

Before I sit there and pontificate on delicate matters let's agree to disagree here  and still be friends.  I mean we can agree that we have different values and ethics and belief structures, but if we are real about our faith and trust in God then we can say no "one person" on earth can encapsulate God's moral fiber.  That would require to keep God's moral law (the 10 commandments) that were before Jesus's sacrifice on the cross for all of our sins.  Before this hope, we had to abide and live by God's moral law.  In James 2:10 we read that if we break just one of God's commandments, then we are guilty of them all.

So let's put this in perspective, let's again agree on the fact that God the Father, the Son (Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit (all three in one are the Triune God).  That being said, then he gave us his Holy Word (the Bible).  Presupposing that we can use that for reference to God's precepts and values, then let's take a look at some things that may make us guilty:

• Anger
• Sexual Immorality (pornography, lust, tv shows that compromise, cable, internet, and fill in your "blank"
• Impurity
• Sensuality
• Idolatry, Sorcery
• Enmity, Strife, Jealousy and Fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy
• drunkenness, orgies and the like

What are you filling your heart, mind, soul and body with that would lead you to a path of immoral fiber and away from God's moral fiber.  Call it what you will, but the world's definition of moral law versus God's definition are nowhere close.  God is a holy God.  God is not mocked.  In the end, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.  If you do not know him, then you are at odds with God, that is = you reject Jesus then God rejects you - simple as that.

The point that I am trying to make here is at what point in our life do we want to let go and let God - have it all.  Does he control our mind, body, soul and strength?  Do we seek his counsel and his lead in all that we do?

Some Scripture on Moral Fiber:Matthew 15:18–20 (ESV) But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does ...

Job 2:3 (ESV) And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil? He still holds fast his integrity, although you incited me against him to destroy him without reason.” ..Proverbs 17:3 (ESV) The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts.

Romans 5:3–4 (ESV) Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

1 Chronicles 29:17 (ESV) I know, my God, that you test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. In the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen your people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to you

2 Peter 1:5–6 (ESV) For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godlinessTitus 2:7–8 (ESV) 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

So what can we do about it?

Get serious, don't compromise and read his word daily and pray continually - see what you here?  Here what you read and listen!

Blessings,

Dante

My bucket list for Christmas 2012

As my wife and I move closer into the very dear and near season of Christmas we find ourselves talking about parenting and things that we have done so far to date with our kids.  Their ages range in the adolescent stages of life, yet we realize how important this stage is.  We have done very well, in my opinion so far, is their understanding of just how much God loves us (as I believe that they know unconditionally how much we love them) as God loves us.  My wife and I have been consistent in our parenting and the kids know that mom and dad mean what they say.  Please note that there is a lot more here to fill in, but I just want to talk about some of the details.

Places where we find ourselves both needing improvement is teaching them more responsibility and independence.  What I am saying here, is that we are not "helicopter parents" where we hover over them, but rather, we find ourselves doing for them just because that's what we do.

Two weeks before Thanksgiving my wife and I unplugged from television.  We turned it off.  The job I am in makes it almost impossible for me to completely "unplug" as my career and news flow is dependent on world events and weather, however, we did unplug from television.  There were a few reasons:  1) Our middle daughter was a little bit sassier and her wardrobe was changing.  2) The older and younger were too dependent on this and 3) one of their teachers challenged my son's class  just after we unplugged (the timing couldn't have been better).

This season of Christmas I decided to make a bucket list for myself and our family to do (feel free to let me know yours or if you have any better ideas).  Here it goes - 25 days of Christmas Bucket List (in no particular order):

1)  Do something nice for someone (serve them without expectation of receiving anything in return

2) Adopt a family for Christmas and share the blessing of giving moreso then receiving

3) Help someone in need (financially)

4) Help someone in need (spiritually)

5) Help someone in need (physcially)

6) Visit a charity/hospital and serve the people/patients

7) Invite family and friends to church (to hear the Gospel of CHRISTmas

8) Play board games with kids

9) Read "doors" book to our children (25 days of Christmas)

10) Visit our neighbors and serve them

11 thur 25 - what do you recommend?

Blessings,

Dante

Thanksgiving and Praise

By the President of the United States of America.A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln