The only way to find your life is to lay your own life life down

discipledockAndrew Peterson is one of my favorite songwriters who was actually introduced to me by my brother, Lance, who posted a video with the song "Family Man".  I also learned and went to see Andrew and met him with the Director of Worship from our church who is a big fan of Andrew's.  This morning I woke up and was listening to a collection of songs from Andrew and he has this one song, Dancing in the Minefields (lyrics here) and the line, "'Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down, and I believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found."  That is a profound statement and we know that resembles the Truth because we read something like this in Scripture, "13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13, NIV).Jesus turned the religious world upside down when He came to this earth to serve instead of being served.  He exemplifies this when He washes his disciples' feet.  We read so much truth in Scripture about marriage and how we are to serve one another:

  • Ephesians 5:  " 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
  • 1 Peter 3:  "7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
  • 1 Corinthians 13:  "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Marriage done God's way is not a 50/50 relationship.  That is, to say, that you don't just give 50% and wait for your spouse to give 50% and believe that equals 100%, because this is not God's math this is the world's view - What's in it for me?  When we put Jesus at the center, where He belongs, then the true equation equals 100%.  Regardless of good or bad, sickness and in health, seasons of trials and tribulations - I am going to give 100%!  When I don't I am going to express my true feelings and no matter what, I will not hold back love.

Love is patient - it waits and it does not hold back.

Love is kind - don't be rude

It does not envy - trust implicitly

It does not boast - it is given without holding back and it is humble

It is not easily angered - think about this one (take the "I" out of "we" because there is no "I" in "We"

It keeps no record of wrongs - stop keeping score - forgive as you have been forgiven.

Love always protects!  Always trusts! Always hopes and no matter what - it does not quit - it always perseveres!!!

What's holding you back from trusting God and getting the "I" out of your relationship:  1 John 2: "On Not Loving the World -'15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."

Look back at your life and your relationships and refer to Galatians 5 and ask yourself which fruit is more evident in my life:  The Fruit of the Spirit or the Fruit of the Sinful Nature?  If there is more Sinful Nature stuff, then repent and serve 100% in those that God called you to love.  Don't hold back!  Pray continually and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in those broken and/or fractured relationships.  Some of us may need professional biblical counseling.  All of us need accountability partners and groups (Community) to walk with us and love on us and to comfort, encourage and urge us to live a life worthy of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ did not come to be served, but to serve.  Jesus tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven.  Can you truly call yourself a CHRISTian if you hold back love and forgiveness.  Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand!

What's holding you back from God's love and plan for your marriage, your relationships, your friendships that need love?

You can do this!  You can do this because when you let go and let God, then you can be sure that He has got this!

Blessings,Dante

 

 

 

 

Discipleship

dareAs you have read many posts and listened to both Lance and I blog about various topics ranging from modern day issues to relational topics through a biblical lens, we hope that you realize our heart is that you grow in your faith, strengthen your walks (and relationships) and be able to call God your true friend.  All that being said, leads me to this post in building true discipleship in your life.Job 28:28 “The fear of the Lord –that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding”. 1 John 1: 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

We believe in order to be an effective disciple you have to be serious about biblical purity and biblical stewardship in order to be the disciple that God wants us to be.  That being said, we are not saying that you have to be perfect in purity and stewardship - because we cannot.  But we are saying that you can no longer be the authority in your life if you call yourself a true Christian.  God is the ultimate authority!  We have to be in submission to Him.  When we begin our walk humbling ourselves before a Holy God, then we began to understand Proverbs when it says the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.

Biblical purity is abstaining from any sexual immorality outside God's covenant of marriage between one man and one woman.  1 Corinthians 6 puts it this way:

1 Corinthians 6:12-20English Standard Version (ESV)

Flee Sexual Immorality12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined[a] to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin[b] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Biblical Stewardship is taking care of what belongs to God.  In this stewardship we have to understand that this means that we have to give God an account of our time, talent and treasure. Effective stewardship is working to effectively manage your time, to share your talent in serving God and giving account and tithing on the treasure that God has given you.

Whether we like it or not, the world is watching.  Social media is ruthless and unforgiving as individuals (behind closed doors) can say whatever they want in the confines of closed doors.  They have no authority in their life, because if they did, they would realize that their words will be used against them in God's judgement.  We, as Christians, have to realize that our words and deeds are being watched not just by men, but by Angels.

I think in order for you and I to be an effective disciple, we have to submit to God's will in our lives.  We have to submit to his call for us to be pure and to live a life of good stewardship with our time, our talent and our treasure.  Because when you and I do this - the World is watching and God's changes lives!

To be an effective disciple you have to be rooted in God's word daily.  You have to pray continually and your have to strive to be pure, to be a good steward and then, only then, can you be an effective disciple of Jesus Christ.  Honestly, when you live like that, others will no longer see you - they will see Jesus!

Blessings,

Dante

 

 

 

My body is a temple

1 Corinthians 6:12-20English Standard Version (ESV)Flee Sexual Immoralityphotogrid_140581942836912 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined[a] to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin[b] a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.


I find it funny that I meet men and women that can justify "social norms" (sexual immorality) that is contrary to God's word.  I think the hardest thing to grasp and to understand for the Christian today is that in order for one to justify any sexual immorality outside the confines of marriage is to justify sin to a Holy God.  You simply cannot be immoral and walk with God!  Sin is sin!  When you read this, though, and study the Scripture, you realize that sexual sin is against God's temple and is deemed a higher sin.

For those of us that call Christ our Savior, then you should hear that ever so quiet voice in our life that calls us to purity, to holiness and to stewardship which leads to God's discipleship.

If you are that person that is currently acting or engaging in any or every sexual sin outside the covenant of marriage (God's biblical plan for man and woman to become one flesh), then you are out of bounds in God's plan - REPENT!

Read Colossians 3 and Romans 12

Pray

As for Forgiveness

Be accountable to a men's group.

 

YOU CAN DO THIS (Through God's Holy Spirit)

 

Blessings,D

 

What is God's will for my life

Dear Legacy Dads,understanding-gods-will-for-our-lives-custom-672x372I want to apologize to all of you for being absent these past several weeks.  As life would have it, my father passed away at the end of September and we have been in all out take care of family and finalize details for his burial and add to that fall break vacation with the wife and kids.

This is a bitterly sweet moment for me in that my dad is no longer in pain, no longer suffering and with Jesus and my mom.  The bitter part is that I don't get to see him or talk to him until I see him in Heaven.

All this being said, brings me to this blog post, "What is God's will for my life?"

Many of you (us) ask questions such as these (or statements)

  • I am not sure what God's will is for my life.
  • What is God's will for my life?
  • What job should I take?
  • Who should I marry?
  • Who should I date?
  • Which way should I go?
  • I am not sure that I am in God's will.

I believe that you (we) are asking the wrong question.  You see, when we turn to the Truth (God's Word) we find the answer very clearly:

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8English Standard Version (ESV)

A Life Pleasing to God"4 Finally, then, brothers,[a] we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification:[b] that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body[c] in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."

Sanctification is defined as, "the act or process of acquiring sanctity, of being made or becoming holy."

I believe through Scripture (The text previously read, Colossians 3 (Rules for Holy Living) and Romans 12 (Living Sacrifices)) we find clearly in the way that God wants us to go.  His will for our lives in our sanctification.

The right question, then, becomes:  Am I in God's will?

The answer then comes from those around you (your spouse, your family, your church and especially your fruit (found in Galatians 5).

If you are looking for the will of God, you have to ask if your life is in obedience and submission to God and whether or not you feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit when you are in His will, when you are contrary to His will and especially you are opposing His will.

God gives us His Spirit to guide us and coach us on the way that we live!

I believe that when you ask the right question and seek to be in His will daily (your sanctification) and when you walk with others and pray daily and mediate on God's word and His will, THEN you will find the direction and the answers to your questions.

For so many years I tried to build my own kingdom and seek my own will until I completely surrendered to His will.  I am not saying that I always get this right, because I mess up daily.  I get selfish and I can lose my cool with my kids and other people can frustrate me (and do).  But then the Holy Spirit nudges me and God's word convicts me to repent and to seek His will and not my will.

If you are reading this, maybe you are feeling convicted by the Spirit in the ungodly things that you are practicing....

If you are reading this and are in His will - bless you!

Blessings,Dante

 

 

10 Books That Changed My Life

I've read and listened to hundreds of books over the years, some better than others.  Some are written like a thesis paper and are hard to get through and others are written in a common vernacular that seems to speak like a wise friend giving advice.  While many of the books I've read have provided insight, learning, and growth - I tried to narrow a list down to ten books that I know have had a profound impact on my life (besides the Bible of course.)10 Books

Some of these were just timing, the age I was at or the season of life I was in, while others have proven to be timeless classics that I often re-read.  It was difficult to narrow the list down to ten but these are the ten, for me personally, that influenced me at various times in my life.  They are listed in no particular order.

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell

I was blessed to be able to attend a conference by John Maxwell on this book back in 1999.  I was in my mid 20's then and just starting to take on real leadership roles.  Maxwell uses these 21 "Laws" to illustrate attributes of successful leaders.  Maxwell helps the reader understand that leadership is a privilege and should be used to help others, build teams, and advance the organizational goals. Maxwell uses the idea of Servant Leadership, casting a vision, and influencing others to follow you not because of your position or title but because they believe in you as a leader and the cause you are working towards. Now, I often give this book to leaders as they start out in life or when starting a new venture.

The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning

People either love this book or hate it.  Manning was a former Franciscan Priest turned alcoholic who very openly and transparently explains his discover of God's redeeming Grace.  Manning rejects the idea of earning salvation or Christians who try to grade others by a list of Do's and Don'ts.  He uses powerful literary illustrations to show the reader our own personal biases and paints the picture that Christ died for all of us, even those we may detest.  Coming from a conservative Christian or Catholic background, this book opens the reader up to the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and the doctrine that we are saved by grace, through faith alone.  "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." 

Twelve Ordinary Men by John F. MacArthur

On my bookshelf, I have an original copy of the 1871 book The Training of the Twelve which is one of the most in-depth books on how Christ discipled His chosen 12. Twelve Ordinary Men was originally a sermon series by MacArthur that finally became a book. This is probably the most in-depth study of the 12 original apostles of Christ taken from Scripture and known church history, to include their final fates. This book truly illustrated to me how Christ chose (and still chooses) ordinary people to fulfill His mission.  Christ did not choose religious scholars but men from varying backgrounds and even some with questionable pasts, to ultimately lead his Church after he was gone.  Not only is this a great historical account of the apostles, but it may also spark a fire in you that God can use you right now, where you are, to fulfill His Great Commission.

Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri Nouwen

This book was given to me by a Chaplain as I prepared to go to combat for the 4th time. I was initially skeptical as Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest but within the first few pages, I realized that this book not only had solid theology, but was a lifetime of wisdom and obedience wrapped up in an easy to read few hundred pages.  Nouwen touches on Christian community, accountability, and realizing our limitations and boundaries.  In the ultimate act of a servant of God, Nouwen left a prestigious position at Harvard and ended up ministering to a handful of mentally challenged individuals. He left prestige for obedience. This book is for those who are still searching, still wanting to grow and mature in the faith.  However, if you tend to compartmentalize your faith and not live it out openly on a daily basis, this book will be difficult for you.  However, if you are ready to get a healthy dose of what sanctification truly looks like, read this book a few times through and soak up the wisdom.

Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

I've read countless books on marriage, been to many marriage retreats, and even attended marriage counseling during some rough patches in the early years of my marriage. However, Love and Respect was when the idea of unconditional love finally sank into my thick skull.  Although we don't want to admit it, often times we hold back in our marriages, we keep a count of the times we were wronged by our spouse, and we argue with our spouse to win the debate rather than trying to seek understanding and maintain the peace. This books taught me that no matter what my spouse does, my job is to love and support her unconditionally, with 100% of my effort, at all times. Even if my needs are not being met, even if she is not intimate with me, even if she is mean or disrespectfully to me - I will love her and show her my love every single day.

Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis

Most Christians have read this classic apologetic on the Christian faith.  While John Stott, N.T. Wright, Tim Keller, and Wayne Grudem have probably provided a more elaborate and in-depth examination of the Christian faith, Lewis is still a master at rhetorical argument for and depiction of the Christian faith. Lewis asserted that he was not a theologian, although he was trained in philosophy, therefore Mere Christianity reads as a "common persons" thoughts on faith. It's not going to convince the skeptic to jump on the Christian ship, but instead lays out the basic tenants of the Christian faith in easily understandable terms.

The Millionaire Mind by Thomas Stanley

In the Spring of 2000, I saw this book on a display at a local bookstore. Being young and thinking that money will solve all my problems and make me happy, I bought the book hoping to learn the unknown secrets of millionaires. Instead, I was introduced to Stanley's research and interviews with "real millionaires" (not people who buy expensive cars and big houses on credit to look wealthy) but people with 7-8 figures or more in semi-liquid assets. What I learned from this book is that the average million doesn't "make it rain", vacation on exotic, private islands nor did they go to Ivy League schools. The average millionaire lives below their means, buys quality or second hand, and invests their income in their own businesses or assets that put money in their pockets.  They are normally B and C students with a strong work ethic, high integrity, but they are willing to take calculated risks like starting their own business.  Stanley's research in this book will flip your ideas (and hopefully your habits) into what it takes to actually become a real millionaire.

The Christ Files by John Dickson

As a former atheist, I really loved this book. The Christ Files goes a step further than Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ by illustrating the peer-reviewed academic, scientific, and anthropological evidence for the New Testament and Jesus Christ.  What I love is that Dickson draws his research from unbiased historians who have little interest in debunking or defending Christ or Christianity. These researchers are interested in historical accuracy and treat the writings of the New Testament as they would any other historical documents. Dickson also explains some of the tools historians use when authenticating historical documents such as coherence, dissimilarity, and multiple attestation.  Dickson covers dating the Gospels and the New Testament, the accuracy of oral tradition in anthropology, why the Gnostic gospels and other early church writings were not included in the final Canon. Dickson also introduces other historical writings of the time, outside of Christianity, that write and speak of Jesus and his following.  This book is a great primer for historical accuracy and authenticity of the Bible.

Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel

I discovered this book when my kids were almost school age, after reading it, the book changed my entire parenting philosophy.  Kimmel highlights two popular extremes in parenting—legalism and permissiveness.  Kimmel also discusses many popular parenting fads - micromanaging children's lives, focusing too much on academics and sports - and teaches readers about the three driving inner needs of every child, how to develop character in children, and how our parenting practices need to be Biblically balanced between truth and grace. Grace Based Parenting uses the example of Jesus and how He discipled others as the primer for this parenting philosophy.  Grace Based Parenting focuses on an overall parenting philosophy not necessarily a step-by-step formula.  I highly recommend parents combine this book with Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and Parenting by Paul David Tripp for a well rounded parenting strategy.

If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg

I read this book while I was in Europe in 2006 and it uses the story of Peter walking on the water with Christ to illustrate how God can use us if we trust in Him and get outside of our comfort zones. Far too often Christians "stay in the boat" and play it safe in life rather than answering the call to advance God's Kingdom and fulfill the Great Commission. God has repeatedly asks ordinary people to engage in acts of extraordinary trust for the glory of His Kingdom, this is getting out of the boat and walking towards Jesus. This book highlights that you don't always need to have all the answers or need to have a 5 year plan in place, often we need just enough faith to walk towards Jesus. Ortberg notes that the water was scary, getting out of the boat took courage and faith but the water is where Jesus is and Peter was the only one who walked with Christ on the water. Jesus is waiting to meet you in ways that will change your life forever, deepening your character and your trust in God...You just have to get out of your boat.

One of the greatest plays in baseball

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Philippians 3:20New International Version (NIV)

20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,

 

Some questions for us to ponder:

  • How important is God's word to us?
  • How important is God's truth to us?
  • How important is our sanctification to God?
  • What's holding you back from taking your citizenship seriously?

Blessings,Dante

What is God's will in your life

Proverbs-Main-Title-Slide-400x300Proverbs 1:1-7New International Version (NIV)

Purpose and Theme

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

for gaining wisdom and instruction;for understanding words of insight;for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,doing what is right and just and fair;for giving prudence to those who are simple,[a]knowledge and discretion to the young—let the wise listen and add to their learning,and let the discerning get guidance—for understanding proverbs and parables,the sayings and riddles of the wise.[b]

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,but fools[c] despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs is known as the book of Wisdom.  Solomon is identified as the writer of most of the book.  God gave Solomon his wisdom.  Proverbs is a book of instructions on how to live a life pleasing to God and how to live a life of peace.  Proverbs is a guiding light (the word of God is a light unto my path).

Are you in God's word?

Are you under its authority?

Before you go to bed tonight understand this:

Proverbs 9:10New International Version (NIV)

10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Who will you serve this day?  Self or God?

 

Blessings,D

 

 

Guys, is your marriage in trouble, stagnant or on its way toward divorce

considering-divorce1-578x295I read a story a while back (not sure of source) but it goes something like this:  A couple, who was hell-bent on getting a divorce came in to their Pastor's office.  They had both agreed that they wanted to continue to come to that particular church and they both wanted their pastor to approve their divorce.  They were a bitter couple who both made years of mistakes and were tired of each other and the pain that they caused each other.  They were angry, bitter and maligned and neither one could be in a room for longer than 20 minutes before a massive shouting match would ensue. So in walks the Pastor into his office and before he could begin the meeting they turned that bitterness toward willful demand and both insisted that the Pastor grant them a divorce and to keep their membership in good standing.  Each spouse, for the first time in 10 years, were perfectly aligned in their case in granting their divorce.  The Pastor tried every angle in counseling that he could and had used before even in the most difficult of situations and even this well-seasoned Pastor could not budge this couple.  So finally, he interrupted and spoke boldly and with authority to this rancid couple.  "Okay," he said, "I will grant both of your requests on one and only one condition..." the pastor said.  The couple was astonished and both shocked and looking back at each other said they would.  The condition was that for three months they had to live together amicably.  They had to turn insult into compliment, selfishness into serving and anger into gentleness.  They had to live gently and lovingly with each other.  They had to give it their most honest try to the pastor knew enough about this couple and their friends that he knew that they could not hide from doing that.  "Three months?," they both said.  Both of them expecting the pastor would have asked for a year and both were happy to honestly oblige.The first month was rocky and very short and curt between this couple.  One would have a bad day and they other would serve and do the necessary things to diffuse their tensions between them.  During the second month, the wife came home from work with a very bad day in the office and a colleague being fired after recent layoffs caused her to be steamed and looking for a fight.  A fight with someone who she especially didn't care for - her husband.  As she entered the house, she couldn't have even remotely expected the surprise that followed.  The entire house was cleaned, picked up and vacuumed.  The dishes were washed and put away and the laundry was done and folded.  There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen with a note that said dinner is in the oven and warming and your salad and dessert are in the fridge.  Still angry and still looking to fight, she entered the room in which her husband was working and deliberately did all the things that would have caused an argument and she even messed up their clean bedroom.  Failing to ignite his temper and anger she then decided to let rage leave her mouth.  The husband, committed to his promise to their pastor got up and said, "Let me get your dinner."  After serving her dinner and cleaning up her mess he went to bed.

The third month was finally there and they had just four weeks to survive their agreement and both were excited to get their pastor's blessing.  Later that month, just days before they had to go back to the pastor's office, they both got home late from work and both were looking for an argument without even knowing it.  The ironic thing about it was that each of them were serving the other and unselfishness doing what needed to be done in that house and for their marriage.  When they finally turned their attention toward each other stupid and angry phrases started to babble from their mouth.  To their surprise, both of their comments were so off the mark and ridiculous that neither one could stop laughing and the anger and bitterness evaporated.  That night they slept in their same bedroom together.

The very next day, the husband woke up not only to serve his wife, but he made the coffee and served his wife breakfast in bed.  To his surprise the wife was already up and laid out his clothes for work and they both had decided to play hookey from work and spend the day together....

The day finally came to meet the pastor and neither the man or his wife wanted to keep that appointment because neither one wanted to quit their marriage like that both had tried hard to do for he past 10 years.  There was silence for just a few moments in the pastor's office.  Both the husband and wife looked different.  Both the husband and wife were acting different and both of their body language was engaged toward each other.

What the couple didn't know is what God's word had spoken to the pastor 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."  The pastor knew that both of them loved Jesus and both wanted the church of God to be their home.  So the pastor knew that this couple loved God, therefore the pastor knew that they had God's Spirit to guide them in this three-month journey.  Without missing a beat, the pastor took out the certificate of divorce and signed it as he had promised.  Prompting his executive assistant and executive pastor, he had them come into his office to witness this.  The couple squirmed sheepishly and interrupted this display by saying neither wanted a divorce.   Not only did God's word guide them to the truth, both started serving and caring for the other, both started to let go of the past and focus on the present and both let go and let God move in their life.


Guys - if your marriage is in trouble, holding on by a thread, or worse - it's been dead for quite some time - don't fret!  I have good news.  There is hope.  We do not serve a God who died on a tree, rather, we serve a God who was raised from the dead and can take dead things and make them knew.

Some questions to ask yourself:

  • What fruit are your bearing?Life by the Spirit13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

  • Who is the authority in your life? 2 Timothy 3:15-16New International Version (NIV)15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
  • What does God want from my marriage?Ephesians 5:21-33New International Version (NIV)Instructions for Christian Households21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

    1 Corinthians 13New International Version (NIV)

    13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

    13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

10 steps to turn things around:

  1. Pray
  2. Read God's word daily
  3. Serve unconditionally and do not expect anything in return
  4. Love unconditionally
  5. Love more unconditionally
  6. Forgive as you and your sins have been forgiven
  7. Pray
  8. Turn insult into blessing
  9. Walk with other brothers who will keep you accountable, walk with you and read God's word with you
  10. Pray some more and ask God to give you the direction in which you should go.Proverbs 3:5-7 New International Version (NIV)5 Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.[a]7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil.

Who better to trust then in the One whose words never return empty.

 

Blessings,

Dante