Why I do a daddy-daughter(s) dance...

[youtube id="nrWMBC6yoME"]For the past several years in February of each year I have the pleasure to take my two daughters to the ball (aka "Daddy Daughter Dance").  This past year was a blast because I went with a really good friend (who I just came back from vacation with - adults only) and really enjoyed our time getting to know each other and building our friendship.  We both decided on vacation to step up the dinner to a fancy place - and our girls really enjoyed themselves as did we.

We took pictures, the girls ate cake, drank juice and had candy along the night and would not stop dancing with their dads throughout the entire night.  I think it is really important for dads to date their daughters for many reasons.  I think it is important to treat their mother the way that you want them to be treated.  I think, as Legacy Dads we could not have a more challenging task then to raise our kids to know the truth (owning the word of God and having a relationship with Jesus) along with life skills.

So hear are the top 10 reasons why you should date your daughters:

1. They need to learn how a man should treat a woman (with respect and adoration)
2. They need to have our time (not just quality but as much quantity, hugs, kisses and full attention we can give them (men - put your stupid phones away when you date them)
3. Teach them how to dance (if you don't make it up, woman love a man who doesn't care what others think when they are having a good time)
4. Show them how to open a door for them and to pull out their seats before they sit down (Chivalry in my house is well and alive)
5. Hugs and Kisses and Butterfly Kisses, as well
6. Because when you are intentional with the love that they so crave from you (as dad) you will see a glimmer of hope and awe in their eyes - see the picture for proof)
7. They are watching you, your walk, your talk, your integrity and your relationship with God (is your faith real)
8. Do not be afraid to chase their hearts (pursue their hopes and dreams and listen to what they are saying
9. To give them the sense of security (dad is in control)\
10. To show them the love of God

Life is precious and before you know it - they will be gone

Blessings,

Dante

The Pursuit of Happiness

The Declaration of Independence: A TranscriptionIN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…

These men were standing together against tyranny and against a form of government that no longer cared about the inalienable rights of individuals as highlighted in red above.  They stood together against a far superior force and military that for any other reason would be overwhelmed if it had not been for God allowing these men to form a nation:  The United States of America.

This post is not about the rich culture of American History and the men that made this such a great nation.  Not every founding father was a professing christian and had a relationship with Jesus Christ, but we read in Romans 8, that that doesn't matter because God will use who He chooses to use for His good and purpose.  I am so thankful to be a part of this country and to be able to be free to speak and to worship and to read the Bible in public venues without fear of persecution or condemnation.  Clearly, some of you may be thinking that this government is so far away from the original statements laid before in this wonderful Declaration, but we have seen this before.  Communists trying overthrow our government through media channels, Nazis infiltrating very aspects of our society and some other modern day Governments that so desperately crave to destroy the very essence of Freedom.

There is a lot that is wrong with this world and even in our country, but remember this, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God" Romans 3.  No matter how we hope that legislators and rulers and bosses and so on can get the very essence of God's word to promote justice and freedom and the belief for each and everyone of us to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, we will always find those that want to stunt this thought and have plans of their own.  Plans that our contrary to the word of God and to the very statutes of our creator.

These founding fathers understood the most important lesson in life:  There is a Creator and every knee will bow and tongue will confess.  So what does that mean for you and I?  Simply put, why should each one of us act differently then the world?  Why should we be humble, teachable and respectful of others?  Why should we love the Lord God with all of our heart, mind, body and soul and secondly why should we love our neighbor as ourselves?  Because Jesus told us that these are the two most important commands to follow (because all the others hinge on this).

What rights do we have as legacy dads:

• To love God
• To read his word daily
• To pray often
• To be loved by Him
• To love our wives unconditionally (Read 1 Peter 3:7)
• To love our children unconditionally
• To pursue our happiness (honoring God all the way)
• To be humble in all circumstances
• To trust and obey (for there is no other way)
• To Submit to God's will for our lives (this brings us His plans and His freedoms for our lives)

What if these are not the case in my life?  What if my life is bearing more sinful nature stuff then the fruit of the Spirit? What should I do, Dante? Lance?  Where can I turn?  How can I right this wrong?  How can I turn this ship around?  How can I take this dead marriage back to life?  YOU CAN'T, BUT  GOD CAN MAKE NEW THINGS AND RAISE THE DEAD TO LIFE!!!

Right now, if this speaks to you:

• Pray, ask God to reveal His will for your life (note:  If you are not reading the Bible, then you will not get this request)
• Get involved with other men (in a bible study, in an accountability group - true accountability)
• Love unconditionally
• If there is more deeper issues (scars, hurts, wrongs) get profession biblical help

Wait on God & Trust Him.

Blessings,

Dante

TOP 10 THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL

As I continue to get older (and older) I have come to the realization that most older people (those that learn from their lives and continue to learn) have a wealth of knowledge if we could just take the time to engage them and chat with them and build relationship with them.  A dear old friend of mine used to say to me that there is only two things in life that we can control and that is: 1) Our attitudes and 2) how we handle the situation that God brings to us.This brings me to my top 10 list of things that you can't control:

1. Those around us - We cannot force our will on others nor control them for the outlook that we want
2. The way that God made us - Each of us have been faithfully and wonderfully made.  God loves us all and has made each one of us unique in our own special ways
3. Our family - We get to choose our friends (not our family) but God calls us to love our family and to show them the love of Christ
4. Those who we work with and work for - (obviously if you are a boss, or company owner you have influence) if you yield to scripture and follow its teaching, whether you are an owner, a peon or somewhere in the middle or upper middle, you cannot control those around you nor the situations that they present you with
5. The choices we have made (in the past) - we are accountable to decisions and actions that we have taken and we cannot control the outcome of those decisions if we made decisions that are contrary to God's will for our lives
6. The consequences of our past - God's way brings the abundant life, the world's way brings consequences to sin (as for me and my house we will choose to serve the Lord)
7. What other people know that we don't - unless they want to share with us, we cannot control what they want to share or don't want to share
8. What the future will bring (or won't) - Read Roman's 8 (God is in control)
9. What others think of us - Who is your identity in? The world or in Christ?
10. Whether or not others like us (or want to love us) - this is huge, because this impacts #1 through #9 and how we are around others.  If you have lived long enough on this earth you will find that not everyone will like you (people are different) and you will find that some may even hate you.  Is your identity in them or in Christ?

What we can control:

Our attitudes - how we react to positive and negative influences (and people) in our lives

How we handle the situation that God brings to us - From James 1 (NIV) 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.  13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

Listening and Doing

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.  26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Don't just hear the words (of the Bible) do what they say (as we are required to do as disciples of Christ).

Blessings,

Dante

Which way are you running dad?

Dear Dad,As I watch you in your older years, it is difficult for me to watch your body and brain succumb to the ages of life (Parkinson's, Dementia and your health along the way).  You are my dad and a man who has taught me so much and continues to do so in your elderly years.  You have always impressed upon me the importance of hard work, of finishing the job, of commitment, of being a man (even though you were not yet a Christian at this time of training - you paved the legacy for me to connect the dots).  I want to thank you for making me into the husband and father that you have worked so hard to do.

Do I always get that right?  No.  Am I selfish and sometimes fail to find the lessons in your many years of training? Yes.  But I strive to be the man who you want me to be and the husband and father that you so drove into me.  If it were in my power not to work, not to raise my kids and not to be the husband that you want me to be, I would quit everything and bring you with me and listen to you and hold you and comfort you without mom.  You taught me the importance of marriage and to avoid the temptations of life.  You quoted Shakespeare to me in ways to avoid debt and to be raised right.

The one thing that I am so grateful for is after all the years of me trying to lead you to Jesus Christ that you never heeded those words, that is, until the day that I had a son.  Thanks to a dear church friend of mine that told me to be real in my faith and to share my heart with you, which lead me to talk about the love of my son (your grandson).  I said to you that if the world required that I sacrifice my son to save the world that I would tell the world to go to hell.  I caught that moment of toughness turned to weakness in you, when you exhaled and held a tear back and said to me, 'That is how I feel about you" and then to watch your expression melt when I shared what God did with His son for you and me and my son.

I am so grateful to you that was the day that the Lord called you to be his.  This is the legacy that I want from my son, dad.  Yes, I want him to understand the gifts of life that we are given:

• The gift of work
• The gift of money
• The gift of friends
• The gift of learning
• The gift of problems
• The gift of family
• The gift of laughter
• The gift of dreams
• The gift of Giving
• The gift of Gratitude
• The gift of a day
• The gift of Love

But what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?  It doesn't!  "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us," Hebrews 12:1

Dad,  thank you for instilling in me the importance of being a man of God.  At the time of your training, you didn't know Jesus Christ as Savior (yet), but he was preparing you for what lies ahead.  Thank you for always being there for me and I want to especially thank you for standing your ground and giving me boundaries and allowing me to fail within that framework.  You have taught me a lot - how to be a man.  For that, I am eternally grateful.  Thank you for hearing God's call to accept His Son as Savior.  I cannot wait for you and mom to be re-united.  In the meantime, please have patience with me as I learn again and again to be patient with you and pray that you will be the patient with me as we both age.

I love you!

Love,

Dante

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Dear Legacy dads,

Lance and I want to encourage you in your walks.  No matter the past, no matter where you are in the present, trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.  Acknowledge him in all of your ways and He will make your paths straight.  The question that was asked to all of you in the beginning was, "Which way are you running, dad?"  This is an epic question and one that deserves to be answered by all of our legacy dads and moms out there.

Ask yourselves these following questions:

• By my activities and those that I/we have our children involved in, am I doing the best at what God calls us to do as dads (moms/parents)?
• Would my checkbook affirm that I am a disciple of Christ
• Would my activities and habits and daily doings show that?
• How can I take the idols out of my life (sports, activities, hobbies that take me away from serving God)?
• How do I find God's will in my life?
• How do I get in the relationship with God in such a way that He speaks to me?
• Am I/are we doing what God calls us to do?
• If not, why not?

It's never to late to leave the legacy that God wants you to lead.  Surrender and Obey...do not just read His words, do what they say.

Blessings,

Dante

Be Watchful, Stand Firm, Act Like Men

"What does this verse mean to you?

To Calvin, it meant, "13. Watch ye. A short exhortation, but of great weight. He exhorts them to watch, in order that Satan may not oppress them, finding them off their guard. For as the warfare is incessant, the watching requires to be incessant too. Now watchfulness of spirit is this -- when, free and disentangled from earthly cares, we meditate on the things of God. For as the body is weighed down by surfeiting and drunkenness, (Luke 21:34,) so as to be fit for nothing, so the cares and lusts of the world, idleness or carelessness, are like a spiritual surfeiting that overpowers the mind. [169]

The second thing is that they persevere in the faith, or that they hold fast the faith, so as to stand firm; because that is the foundation on which we rest. It is certain, however, that he points out the means of perseverance -- by resting upon God with a firm faith.

In the third exhortation, which is much of the same nature, he stirs them up to manly fortitude. And, as we are naturally weak, he exhorts them fourthly to strengthen themselves, or gather strength. For where we render it be strong, Paul makes use of only one word, which is equivalent to strengthen yourselves.

14. Let all your things be done in love Again he repeats what is the rule in all those transactions, in which we have dealings with one another. He wishes, then, that love shall be the directress; because the Corinthians erred chiefly in this respect -- that every one looked to himself without caring for others.

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To US:  What does this verse mean (what should this verse mean) for Legacy dads around the world:

Be Watchful

• Study the word of God
• Know the way your enemy works
• Be on Guard and ready to act
• Flee from evil

Stand firm in the faith

• Do not give in to peer pressure
• Be ready to give an answer
• Don't be swayed from the truth

Act Like Men

• Read Here

Be Strong

• Trust in the Lord
• Do not lean on your own understanding
• God is our strong tower (our refuge)
• He is our strength
• Find your Joy in the Lord (for the joy in Him is our Strength)

Let All That You Do Be Done In Love

• Read Here
• Carry Each other's burdens
• Love one another
• Do not devour your Christian brothers and sisters

What are you thoughts on this?

Dante

Man up, Lion down

 

WHAT:  ACT LIKE MEN

WHERE/WHEN :  CHICAGO ILLINOIS (ALL STATE ARENA) May 15-16, 2015 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd. Rosemont, IL 60018

WHY:  TO CONNECT, TO GROW, TO DISCIPLE

WHO:  ALL OF YOU

Lance and I cannot believe that Act Like Men 2015 is here again.  We had such an awesome time and had great fellowship with our brothers and forged new friendships and accountability along the way.  There are conferences that pump you up and get riveted and then you go home back into the every day life and entertain sin.  And then their are churches, groups of men, men's groups and disciples of Christ who go to a conference like Act Like Men and decide that this day will be the day that I take the Lion in my life (the sin that I keep chained in the closet, in the darkness and away from all other eyes) and I am going to drag it out in the street and put a proverbial bullet in its head.

This is that conference.  This is that time.  This is the year.  This is the day when you change it.  This is the day that you will let other brothers in.  This is the day that you will be accountable.  This is the day that you will Act Like Men!

1 Corinthians 16:13English Standard Version (ESV)

¹³ Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong

Blessings,

Dante

To Sign up for Act Like Men, Click HERE (Note;  If you go to my church or Lance's Church, contact us privately as we have a church code for this event)

Happy New Year - From Legacy Dad

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) “11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV) “13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Whether you celebrate the New Year by toasting grape juice, pillows (going to bed early), or even Champagne, we would like you to look back for a gander in 2014.  For some of you, it has been full of travel and work and more travel and for others it has been just another year under the belt.   For some, it has been a year of trials and tribulations and for others it has been a year of jubilee and blessing.  While yet, for others, it may have been a year of both trial and blessing.  Whatever and where ever you are in this life - we would like to humbly wish you all a very Happy New Year.

So what is our challenge for 2015?

• Calling all Legacy dads:
• Strain toward the goal (finish well)
• Press toward walking more with God
• Lean more on God (Jesus and His Spirit) and less on ourselves
• Declare God's plan for our lives (and not our own)

When we work toward the goal of Jesus, we learn to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, then we see more of God's will in our lives and less of our will.

Remember, God does have plans for us - really good plans.

Happy New Year and the best to your and your families in 2015!

Blessings,

Lance & Dante

Mini Church: Faith, Family and Friends

For the past four years I have had a small group that to me, was family, and we used this as a place of prayer, friendship, trust and encouragement.  This group was family.  It was a place to let my proverbial hair down and to be fed instead of pouring into.  Two of the couples felt called to lead in other areas.  This was a group of leaders, not followers and it was really nice to lean on each other during these past few years.This group helped me through the death of my mother.  They prayed for my wife and me when we needed it most.  And most importantly we didn’t feel judged in this group.  That is not to say that they didn’t hold me accountable, because when they did, I knew it was out of love (and truth).

The beautiful thing about these changes are that they will bless other people (other marriages and individuals) as much as they have blessed my wife and me.  They will comfort and encourage and urge others to live a life worthy of God.

So what about the others that I left with us?  What about the new members in our group?  The more the merrier.  Seriously, these others are still part of our family.  They love me and we will continue to grow and challenge each other, to pray for each other, and to be there for one another.  We just had another family start coming and we have been truly blessed by them.

So as I am leading this group, I was praying on what best to talk about:  Marriage?  Stewardship?  Missional? Discipleship?  Of course, I decided on a topic after serious prayer:  Parenting!  We all have kids and we all are our own experts on this subject (not).  The one thing, among many, that we have in common is at times we begrudgingly admit that we do not like bedtime when it is difficult – don’t get me wrong, there are many nights were tickles, snuggles, bedtime pillow fights and songs from the heart ring true to my ears, but then there are those nights (well, you know those nights).

This topic was clearly an answer to my prayers because we have had some honest discussion and really good prayer time with each other.  The thing that I realize is that there are a ton of books about parenting that try to give you cookie cutter solutions on how to raise your kids, but the honest to God conclusion is that not all kids are the same.  Not every child responds to the desires of our hearts that we would like.  Not every child can be disciplined the same.  Not every child, so the list goes on and on and on.

In my opinion, God gives us the privilege of parenting so we can see exactly how much he loves us.  He gives us this blessing to help us understand his mercies are new every day.  He shows us how to love even when we want to scream in frustration and he shows us no matter the good or the bad (the child – each one of us are His) He still loves us.

The Bible has a lot to say about parenting, but there is no clear cut way for each parent to follow.  I will say this, Lance was spot on in his last post, Parents:   You can’t Rush God’s Plan.  Because we cannot.  He is in control even when life seems out of control for us.  He has plans for us, not to harm us, but to give us the abundant life for those who fear and love Him.

God tells us clearly in Scripture to train a child in the way that they should go and that they will never depart from that.  There are a few caveats that we have to apply for this to be the case:

• Our faith has to be real
• We have to trust the Lord with all our heart
• We have to not lean on our own understanding
• We have to acknowledge God in all our ways
• And we have to believe that He will make our paths straight
• We have to stay grounded in the Word (because that word is our lifeline to God)
• We have to show love, faith and hope to our children

This all sounds like it would be an easy formula to follow, but the problem with this theory is that we are married and there is one man and one woman in this marriage.  The potential problem with this is that we continue to try and fall back to our old selves (the old sin nature) instead of putting on our new self (in Christ Jesus) for those of us who profess the Lord Jesus as Savior.

When we get in the way of ourselves:  To our spouse, to our children, to our church and to our work and community – a whole slew of problems begin to unravel themselves.  So what to do:

Turn ourselves back to God (confess this to him:  our doubts, our fears, our troubles)

Lean on Him (all the time – He is faithful even when we are not)

Let Go and Let God.

As Lance, said, “It’s the difference between living your faith versus knowing about faith.”  Your kids can smell a fake a mile away – so be real, make mistakes, get angry, be sad, cry, love, laugh, and live true faith.  Let your kids know that God is a God of second, third and infinite chances as long as we continue to pursue him, trust him and love him.

What say you?

Blessings,

D