Sensei

Everyone once in a while, you may find yourself in the presence of great men.  Whether they are merchants, cowboys or warriors - you will know that they are great men because of the way they carry themselves.  Usually you will note authority, humility, integrity, character and you will find yourself walking away from them being a better person for the moments that you spent with them.  This is a person that I want to be.  I want to be a great husband, a really good father (a legacy dad) and someone who when others talk to me that they walk away from our conversation feeling comforted, encouraged and urged to live a life worthy of God.For the past three years, I have been taking Kempo Jui Jitsui with my son.  I love martial arts for so many reasons.  This form of martial arts is literally warrior combat.  They do not use this style or allow it in UFC fighting because the opponent would not fare well.  I love this art because, for me, it truly relates to me in the sense of discipleship.  There is so much correlation to it that it makes me giddy just thinking about it and our men's ministry called Men of Faith.

First of all, the term (title) Sensei, literally means, "one who has gone before."  Each of us are on our own journey.  Each of us have purpose and a reason to be than rather to seem (Lance will love this sentence).  For those of  us that are in Christ, each of us have been given gifts and are called to be stewards of what God has given us.  If you are fortunate to have spent time (or are currently spending time) with these great men, then you will reflect on what they have shown you.  Where they are guiding you and what their hope for you is in your walk.

The comparison to martial arts to being a disciple of God, for me, have so many similarities that it is amazing to me in my walk as a disciple and my path to be a black belt in martial arts.  That is, a lot of intentional training are required to achieve these aspirations.  Training (practicing martial arts, learning the flow and motion of the body and the range of motion in movement).  For a disciple (reading God's word, being in the word, committed to the word and to prayer and to walking with other men).  The key to both of these aspirations of mine is that I am not doing this alone.  God never intended that for us to be alone.  When His Son, Jesus Christ, sent the 70 disciples out to share the Gospel, He sent them two by two.

When you practice a sport, and art, a walk with God, there is always a cost = TIME.   There is always a continue flow of motion and body movement - you have to be committed to the practice and training and commitment of time, talent and treasure to be who God wants you to be.  We are called to be stewards of what He has given you and me.

We can try to make martial arts about "me" or "you".  We can try to make discipleship about "me" or "you" or you can watch these sensei' in our lives (Great men) who have gone before us and who are there not to detract us from learning and growing, but to guide us in the path that we should take.

When we commit our ways to these paths, then you can be certain that things will change.  A life that is worth living will be clear and evident in your path.  There will be purpose because you will learn that God calls men to do His will.  You can choose to be a part of it or you can choose to be left alone.

Don't be fooled into thinking that life and training gives you a shortcut (a way to cheat).  After running three marathons, several half marathons and a Super Spartan Race along with training to be an effective martial artist and a legacy dad (a man of God), I can tell you that there is no easy way.  There is a cost - a time commitment and a willingness to go deeper in training and in relationship and in friendship.

We have to let go of old ways, stubborn ways.  We have to destroy pride and lust for what we want and learn from these men who have gone before and are willing to show us the way, the truth and the life found in Jesus Christ.

Each and every one of us will have a time and a place that our lives will come to an end.  Whether through natural causes, or through war, or through other events that take us to meet our Creator, there will be two questions that we have to answer at this Judgement Seat of Christ:

1. Do we know God's Son, Jesus Christ, as Savior
2. What did we do with the things that God gave us to steward

If you do not know the answer without certainty for question one (please email Lance or myself now - or ask a pastor at a bible believing/preaching church) and if you are not sure what a steward is or what God has planned and calls for each one of us to do with our time, talent and treasure, then seek the answers through this blog and the Word of God.  I am not going to give them to you right now, remember there is a cost.

Esse Quam Videri - to be rather than to seem!

Blessings,

D

The marks of a disicple

Often you have read and heard from Lance and I not to just be a follower of Jesus, but to dare to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.  Some may say, "Are you saying that if I am saved then I am not automatically a disciple of Jesus Christ?"  or some say, "If I am saved then I am already a disciple of Christ", while others say, "to be a disciple, your life has to bear the marks of a disciple."  So you find yourself asking where does Legacy Dad stand on this.  My answer is:  Look to the New Testament!  If you read and reread and study and meditate on the Word of God, then you cannot help but understand what a disciple of Christ must do,  must look like and what fruit he/she should be bearing.Jesus, in Matthew 7, tells us what disciples look like:

True and False Disciples21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

Jesus in Matthew 28 doesn't just tell us to go out and reach the lost and save them.  He takes it one step further:

The Great Commission18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Jesus also goes on to say that if you hold onto (never let go of) his teaching, then you are a disciple.  If you follow him (that is, to say, not just believing in Him), If you teach the truths to other trustworthy people so that they can multiply God's plan for His believers.  In Luke 6:40, "A disciple is not greater than his teacher, but everyone when fully trained will be like his teacher."  Luke 9:23 says, "whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."  Jesus and His New Testament have so much to say on what a disciple must be, must do and must follow in order to be called His disciple.

Marks of A Disciple

A disciple must(s):

• Know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior:  Romans 10:9-11 "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”[a]
• Renew his mind:  Romans 12: A Living Sacrifice 12:  1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
• Knows and Studies God's Word:  1 John 2:3-11 - "Love and Hatred for Fellow Believers, 3 We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. 4 Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, love for God[a] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. 7 Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. 8 Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. 9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister[b] is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister[c] lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them."
• Let the Word have authority over their lives:  Colossians 3:15-17 "15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
• Be Humble:  James 4:10, "10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
• Be not just hearers of the word BUT doers:  James 1:22, "22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."
• Bear God's Fruit (you simply cannot help but bear His fruit if you are his disciple):  Galatians 5:22-26, "22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."
• Die to self:  Romans 6:8, "⁸ Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him."  This simply means let go and let God in all that you do.
• Be a good steward:  A good steward is someone who understands that God is all, above all and over all.  That is, to say, that God has dominion over my finances, my choices, my daily life and my gifts.  All that I do should point others to Christ.

There is so much more to say on being and daring to be a disciple of Jesus Christ (more to follow on this topic).  That being said, understand that none of us are perfect nor could ever be.  We are called to live content and humble lives.  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and understand God's call to worship together in community, in family.  To lift each other up and to supply the needs of the body.  In doing so, you will lay up treasure in Heaven where it is so much more important than the matters of a life down here on earth.  For we are but a mist and before we know it, our lives will be ending and our eternity approaching.

What are you going to choose to do?  Serve yourself?  Or serve God?

Blessings,

D

The only way to find your life is to lay your own life life down

Andrew Peterson is one of my favorite songwriters who was actually introduced to me by my brother, Lance, who posted a video with the song "Family Man".  I also learned and went to see Andrew and met him with the Director of Worship from our church who is a big fan of Andrew's.  This morning I woke up and was listening to a collection of songs from Andrew and he has this one song, Dancing in the Minefields (lyrics here) and the line, "'Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down, and I believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found."  That is a profound statement and we know that resembles the Truth because we read something like this in Scripture, "13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13, NIV).Jesus turned the religious world upside down when He came to this earth to serve instead of being served.  He exemplifies this when He washes his disciples' feet.  We read so much truth in Scripture about marriage and how we are to serve one another:

• Ephesians 5:  " 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
• 1 Peter 3:  "7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
• 1 Corinthians 13:  "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Marriage done God's way is not a 50/50 relationship.  That is, to say, that you don't just give 50% and wait for your spouse to give 50% and believe that equals 100%, because this is not God's math this is the world's view - What's in it for me?  When we put Jesus at the center, where He belongs, then the true equation equals 100%.  Regardless of good or bad, sickness and in health, seasons of trials and tribulations - I am going to give 100%!  When I don't I am going to express my true feelings and no matter what, I will not hold back love.

Love is patient - it waits and it does not hold back.

Love is kind - don't be rude

It does not envy - trust implicitly

It does not boast - it is given without holding back and it is humble

It is not easily angered - think about this one (take the "I" out of "we" because there is no "I" in "We"

It keeps no record of wrongs - stop keeping score - forgive as you have been forgiven.

Love always protects!  Always trusts! Always hopes and no matter what - it does not quit - it always perseveres!!!

What's holding you back from trusting God and getting the "I" out of your relationship:  1 John 2: "On Not Loving the World -'15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."

Look back at your life and your relationships and refer to Galatians 5 and ask yourself which fruit is more evident in my life:  The Fruit of the Spirit or the Fruit of the Sinful Nature?  If there is more Sinful Nature stuff, then repent and serve 100% in those that God called you to love.  Don't hold back!  Pray continually and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in those broken and/or fractured relationships.  Some of us may need professional biblical counseling.  All of us need accountability partners and groups (Community) to walk with us and love on us and to comfort, encourage and urge us to live a life worthy of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ did not come to be served, but to serve.  Jesus tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven.  Can you truly call yourself a CHRISTian if you hold back love and forgiveness.  Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand!

What's holding you back from God's love and plan for your marriage, your relationships, your friendships that need love?

You can do this!  You can do this because when you let go and let God, then you can be sure that He has got this!

Blessings,Dante

Tell Your Story

I gave my life to Jesus Christ on November 7, 1976 in a fundamental, independent Baptist Church.  The pastor was a humble and intelligent man named Reverend Donald G. Humbert.  He was a godly man who believed in the Bible word for word.  I grew up Catholic, meaning I grew up in a tradition and religion rather than a genuine faith and friendship with our Creator.  That is, to say, that I was not connected to God's word, His truth, nor did I have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.  My sister started attending this church and eventually got my mom and I to start attending this church.  After several months, I remember one Sunday evening (11/7/1976) that I was so convicted by the Holy Spirit that I stood up during the "alter call" and gave my life to the Lord.I cannot tell you that I always followed the road to biblical discipleship (read more:  Here), but the Lord never gave up on me even at my most darkest of times.  During my late adaloscent years and even into my early teens I was on fire for the Lord.  I was President of my youth group and CEO of our high school ministry.  I loved the Lord with every part of my being.  And then I met high school football and the like and turned away from God and toward earthly idols.  My youth Pastor, and my friend, noticed a dramatic change and wrote me a letter about this (I still have this today) and called me out (or tried to) in being raw and honest with his walk.  I really always love and respect that man for his truth in love.  As a result, I walked away from my relationship with God for over a decade (again see the post above).  It was not until I went to a friend's wedding and met his wife's best friend did my life begin to change.

This woman, who would later be called my wife, introduced me to another Bible Church in her hometown.  She even had me waking up at 6am in the morning to drive out to her church in the western suburbs of Chicago to help her lead a 2 and 3 year old class.   At the time that we officially started dating, we were on a double date downtown for her birthday and I found out from my dad that that early morning my mother had a massive heart attack.  She was given 6 months to live and my dad had just lost his brother.  Needless to say, I got a second opinion and my mom lived 10 years past the original 6 month diagnosis.  After my mom had her open heart surgery, she woke up and asked me to make her a promise (i said of course) and she asked me to go to church again and to start reading my bible again.

That begin a long road to recovery (sin nature stuff takes some time to work through the carnage and scars), but my wife said to me during this process of early marriage, "do something about it" (she was referring to my walk and what I needed).  This began to formulate my walk with other brothers and to truly grasp what Galatians 6:1-2 says (click here).  So I started walking with other brothers and started to repent of all the justifications (that were sin) in my life and confess to a Holy God that which I did and was repenting of.

What do I believe (in) today:

• I am a work in progress.
• I am going to finish well.
• I believe and confess that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and my friend.
• I believe that God is the authority over my entire life.
• I believe that God calls us in to community and to walk with each other.
• I believe that He has given me a story, my story, to tell others about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

What I am asking you to do today:

• Take a hard look at your life and ask yourself if there is any sin nature stuff in your life that needs to be repented of
• Pray continually
• Ask God to lead you
• Examine yourself daily (in and through the word of God)
• Let God be the authority of your entire life
• Walk with other brothers (if you are a man) and other sisters (if you are a woman) - confess your sins to one another!
• Finally, I ask you to tell your Gospel story of your life to others in your circles of life.

To God be the Glory,D

Guys, is your marriage in trouble, stagnant or on its way toward divorce

I read a story a while back (not sure of source) but it goes something like this:  A couple, who was hell-bent on getting a divorce came in to their Pastor's office.  They had both agreed that they wanted to continue to come to that particular church and they both wanted their pastor to approve their divorce.  They were a bitter couple who both made years of mistakes and were tired of each other and the pain that they caused each other.  They were angry, bitter and maligned and neither one could be in a room for longer than 20 minutes before a massive shouting match would ensue. So in walks the Pastor into his office and before he could begin the meeting they turned that bitterness toward willful demand and both insisted that the Pastor grant them a divorce and to keep their membership in good standing.  Each spouse, for the first time in 10 years, were perfectly aligned in their case in granting their divorce.  The Pastor tried every angle in counseling that he could and had used before even in the most difficult of situations and even this well-seasoned Pastor could not budge this couple.  So finally, he interrupted and spoke boldly and with authority to this rancid couple.  "Okay," he said, "I will grant both of your requests on one and only one condition..." the pastor said.  The couple was astonished and both shocked and looking back at each other said they would.  The condition was that for three months they had to live together amicably.  They had to turn insult into compliment, selfishness into serving and anger into gentleness.  They had to live gently and lovingly with each other.  They had to give it their most honest try to the pastor knew enough about this couple and their friends that he knew that they could not hide from doing that.  "Three months?," they both said.  Both of them expecting the pastor would have asked for a year and both were happy to honestly oblige.The first month was rocky and very short and curt between this couple.  One would have a bad day and they other would serve and do the necessary things to diffuse their tensions between them.  During the second month, the wife came home from work with a very bad day in the office and a colleague being fired after recent layoffs caused her to be steamed and looking for a fight.  A fight with someone who she especially didn't care for - her husband.  As she entered the house, she couldn't have even remotely expected the surprise that followed.  The entire house was cleaned, picked up and vacuumed.  The dishes were washed and put away and the laundry was done and folded.  There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen with a note that said dinner is in the oven and warming and your salad and dessert are in the fridge.  Still angry and still looking to fight, she entered the room in which her husband was working and deliberately did all the things that would have caused an argument and she even messed up their clean bedroom.  Failing to ignite his temper and anger she then decided to let rage leave her mouth.  The husband, committed to his promise to their pastor got up and said, "Let me get your dinner."  After serving her dinner and cleaning up her mess he went to bed.

The third month was finally there and they had just four weeks to survive their agreement and both were excited to get their pastor's blessing.  Later that month, just days before they had to go back to the pastor's office, they both got home late from work and both were looking for an argument without even knowing it.  The ironic thing about it was that each of them were serving the other and unselfishness doing what needed to be done in that house and for their marriage.  When they finally turned their attention toward each other stupid and angry phrases started to babble from their mouth.  To their surprise, both of their comments were so off the mark and ridiculous that neither one could stop laughing and the anger and bitterness evaporated.  That night they slept in their same bedroom together.

The very next day, the husband woke up not only to serve his wife, but he made the coffee and served his wife breakfast in bed.  To his surprise the wife was already up and laid out his clothes for work and they both had decided to play hookey from work and spend the day together....

The day finally came to meet the pastor and neither the man or his wife wanted to keep that appointment because neither one wanted to quit their marriage like that both had tried hard to do for he past 10 years.  There was silence for just a few moments in the pastor's office.  Both the husband and wife looked different.  Both the husband and wife were acting different and both of their body language was engaged toward each other.

What the couple didn't know is what God's word had spoken to the pastor 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."  The pastor knew that both of them loved Jesus and both wanted the church of God to be their home.  So the pastor knew that this couple loved God, therefore the pastor knew that they had God's Spirit to guide them in this three-month journey.  Without missing a beat, the pastor took out the certificate of divorce and signed it as he had promised.  Prompting his executive assistant and executive pastor, he had them come into his office to witness this.  The couple squirmed sheepishly and interrupted this display by saying neither wanted a divorce.   Not only did God's word guide them to the truth, both started serving and caring for the other, both started to let go of the past and focus on the present and both let go and let God move in their life.

---

Guys - if your marriage is in trouble, holding on by a thread, or worse - it's been dead for quite some time - don't fret!  I have good news.  There is hope.  We do not serve a God who died on a tree, rather, we serve a God who was raised from the dead and can take dead things and make them knew.

Some questions to ask yourself:

• What fruit are your bearing?Life by the Spirit13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

  22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

• Who is the authority in your life? 2 Timothy 3:15-16New International Version (NIV)15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
• What does God want from my marriage?Ephesians 5:21-33New International Version (NIV)Instructions for Christian Households21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

  25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

  1 Corinthians 13New International Version (NIV)

  13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

  4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

  13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

10 steps to turn things around:

1. Pray
2. Read God's word daily
3. Serve unconditionally and do not expect anything in return
4. Love unconditionally
5. Love more unconditionally
6. Forgive as you and your sins have been forgiven
7. Pray
8. Turn insult into blessing
9. Walk with other brothers who will keep you accountable, walk with you and read God's word with you
10. Pray some more and ask God to give you the direction in which you should go.Proverbs 3:5-7 New International Version (NIV)5 Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.[a]7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord and shun evil.

Who better to trust then in the One whose words never return empty.

Blessings,

Dante

Top 10 ways to build up your family

 

Top 10 ways to build up your family:

10.  Play board games with them

9.  Go on long walks

8.  Ride your bikes to the local ice cream store

7.  Date your wife and kids (individually) - one each date

6.  Read the Bible with them

5.  Talk about Scripture and how it applies to our lives today

4.  Pray with your wife and kids

3.  Serve with them

2.  Love them

1.  Take vacations with them (slow down - relax - enjoy - be thankful)

What are some of your top 10's?

Blessings,

Dante

Unforgiveness

Part of being a legacy dad means not only talking the talk, but also walking the walk.  As both Lance and I have shared in the past and will continue to share into the future, both of our wives read this blog and our children are watching us.  That being said, more than just our wives would call us out!  Does that mean that we are perfect?  Absolutely not!  Our wives and close friends know that we are sinners who are saved by grace.  What it does mean by being a legacy dad is realizing and committing to the fact that there is a greater authority in our lives other than ourselves.  That the beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.  The beginning of being a legacy dad is putting God in our lives where He should always be:  On the throne room of our lives.  God should be overall.  God is in control of my life, my family, my work, my personal life and I am subject to His will!  This doesn't always mean that I get this in the correct order.  This also means, if I am being honest, that I sometimes try to put my old self back on top and on my throne room of my heart.  God has given me emotions and the ability to think and to have free will.  He is Sovereign and He is in control of all things.  He knows what I will do.One of the hardest things for men to overcome is forgiveness.  On our own, we are incapable of it.  To be honest, even when we are walking the walk, forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to do.  When someone wrongs us (or we feel wronged) or someone wrongs ones that we love, it is next to near impossible to forgive even when God calls us to forgive.

1 John 1:5-10 English Standard Version (ESV)

Walking in the Light5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

1 John 2 English Standard Version (ESV)

Christ Our Advocate2 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. 3 And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

The New Commandment7 Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word that you have heard. 8 At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because[a] the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. 9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him[b] there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Ephesians 4:32English Standard Version (ESV)

32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

When we subject ourselves to God's truth (The Bible) then we have a really hard time trying to justify the wrongs in our lives:

• A bad marriage
• A difficult work situation
• An event
• Difficult living situation
• Addictions
• Being wronged

No matter how we try to defend our positions, it is impossible to justify the wrongs that we have done against God.  We are sinners in need of  a Savior.  Left on our own devices we have no hope, no salvation and no chance of salvation.  But with God's plan, there is a hope.  There is His Son.  There is salvation and redemption and forgiveness through His Son, Jesus Christ.

So if God can forgive us...

• We can forgive our spouse - some of us, if we are honest, have let our marriages die.  We have stopped pursuing our spouse because we feel hurt, we feel betrayed, we feel broken and disappointed by some things in our past.  The marriage that we thought we would have - we don't.  The spouse that we thought would meet every expectation - doesn't.  The relationship that we thought we would have until we get old - isn't.  Because of these shortcomings or acts or events some of us have grown weary, hopeless, and embittered.  There is unforgiveness and anger and in some relationships even dangerous anger.
• We can forgive our children - some of us have wayward children or children that did not meet our expectations or what we thought we would see them grow up to be.  We have been callous with them and even neglected our parenting and call to disciple them because they continue to disappoint.  They have wandered or committed some unforgiveable sins that we can never get over.  How could they embarrass us like that?  How could they shame their mother and father the way that they have?  How can they sin and continue to have unrepentant sin in their lives?
• We can forgive those who persecute us - whether some of us have been a victim or have a situation where we have been wronged or have been persecuted or have even ben maligned in ways that were not justified we feel that we have righteous anger, that is, we think we are justified in being unforgiving toward those persons or situations in our lives that persecute us.
• We can forgive those who have wronged us - some of us have been a victim of drugs and alcohol or of loved ones who have hurt us not only physically, but emotionally and have destroyed our spirit and will to live.  As a result, we find our lives in a sense of rebellion and for some even with destructive habits that are reckless and in some cases malign others around us because we feel that if we have been victims then why should the rest of the world get away with this (this lifestyle leaves a wake of destruction and bitterness in its path).
• We can get over ourselves (and for some of us our horrible pasts and let God move in our lives) - some of us try to say that our pasts (and present) is so horrible that we can not forgive ourselves, that we were really bad and that there is nothing or no one that can forgive the sins and atrocities that I have committed.

To all of what was just said above, I have one thing to say to all of us:  Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.  Do not withhold love when it is in our power to act.  Love and forgive as God loves and has forgiven us through His Son Jesus Christ.

How about this, Legacy dads:

• Instead of blaming our circumstances on our wives (our children) our work, our outcomes, we let go and let God have control over it all.
• Instead of withholding love, we love unashamed
• Instead of judging with a measuring stick that puts us in pure hypocrisy, we judge ourselves by the measure we judge others.  Quickly realizing that this cannot be, then we let the only One judge others.  Instead we can love and live the lives that Jesus calls us to live (Read Romans 12:1-2 and Colossians 3).
• Instead of living in the past (past mistakes, past transgressions, past wrongs instead of rights) we turn that over to God.  We surrender the pain, the unforgiveness, the un-love in our lives and let God through His Holy Spirit fill that up with His love allowing us to show others God's love and what God is doing through our lives by forgiving others (by letting His will be done).
• Instead of saying that we cannot forgive ourselves of the sin and atrocities that we have committed, we finally come to understand that biblically speaking we cannot forgive our sins because only God can forgive us through His Son.

What is holding you back from receiving God's best design for our lives?

What is holding you back from letting go of all it and giving it to God?

What is holding you back from letting God move in your life and filling the void that you thought others should fill?

What if, just what if, we did all of this and realize that when we completely surrender that under God's will and plans and timing - we will have the abundant life that He promises?

Do you believe this?  Can it be true?  Do we serve a God who raises once what was dead into life?

Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you!

Blessings,

Dante

Impacts of homes without a Father

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More Data on the Extent of Fatherlessness

• An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father.Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics  of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010.

• Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers.Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Table 1. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, DC: U.S. Dept of Education, National Center of Education Statistics, 2001.

• 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.Source: Family Structure and Children’s Living Arrangements 2012. Current Population Report. U.S.  Census Bureau July 1, 2012.

• According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America.Source: National Center for Fathering, Fathering in America Poll, January, 1999.

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Things to know:

• God created man and woman
• God has a plan for the family
• God tells us to be fruitful and to multiply
• God wants us to be His disciples and to go and make more disciples sharing the Good News!
• God has a plan for Fathers
• God has a plan for Legacy dads

Let me ask you this:  Are you too busy building your kingdom and your desires and your habits and recreational lifestyle or are you choosing to be a part of God's plan and build His Kingdom?

Fathers lives matter!

Many churches today have thriving women’s ministries, power worship experiences and world-class children’s curriculum yet struggle to implement effective biblical road-maps and turn-key strategies for empowering and discipling men, parents, and marriages.

• 93% of families will follow when the father takes an active role in his faith and walk with Christ.  When fathers are not active in their faith, 60% of children stop attending church or leave the faith altogether even if their mother still attends regularly.
• Church ministries will average only 40 hours per year to influence the lives of children, youth and teens while parents will average over 3000 hours.
• 1/3 of Church attending Christian marriages will end in divorce.  We can lower these numbers by effective marriage outreach and premarital counsel.

Legacy Dad empowers men to become the spiritual leaders of their families and take an active role in their faith. 

Looking forward to you spending time with God this week through reading His Word and praying to Him!!!

Blessings,Dante