Man up, Lion down

 

WHAT:  ACT LIKE MEN

WHERE/WHEN :  CHICAGO ILLINOIS (ALL STATE ARENA) May 15-16, 2015 Allstate Arena 6920 N Mannheim Rd. Rosemont, IL 60018

WHY:  TO CONNECT, TO GROW, TO DISCIPLE

WHO:  ALL OF YOU

Lance and I cannot believe that Act Like Men 2015 is here again.  We had such an awesome time and had great fellowship with our brothers and forged new friendships and accountability along the way.  There are conferences that pump you up and get riveted and then you go home back into the every day life and entertain sin.  And then their are churches, groups of men, men's groups and disciples of Christ who go to a conference like Act Like Men and decide that this day will be the day that I take the Lion in my life (the sin that I keep chained in the closet, in the darkness and away from all other eyes) and I am going to drag it out in the street and put a proverbial bullet in its head.

This is that conference.  This is that time.  This is the year.  This is the day when you change it.  This is the day that you will let other brothers in.  This is the day that you will be accountable.  This is the day that you will Act Like Men!

1 Corinthians 16:13English Standard Version (ESV)

13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong

Blessings,

Dante

To Sign up for Act Like Men, Click HERE (Note;  If you go to my church or Lance's Church, contact us privately as we have a church code for this event)

The Ultimate Gifts

ultimategiftbookBoth Lance and I have posted on the Movie, The Ultimate Gift, back in 2007 and 2011, and I decided to have my family watch that movie last night.  My three kids (ages 10, 9 and 7) all thoroughly enjoyed the movie and were saddened with tears through parts of the movie.  I learned a lot about my kids (more teachable moments) in that was both my intention and my hope that they would connect to a life lesson that I was trying to bring them.  The theme of the movie is in its title:  The Ultimate Gift and my family and I were not let down.There are gifts that the main character has to learn throughout the movie (that are applicable to life)

  • The Gift of Work - if you can appreciate this gift and learn to love the gift you can accomplish anything in life
  • The Gift of Money - when you realize good stewardship and that its all God's, then you can appreciate what He has given you
  • The Gift of Friends - when hard times hit, you know who you true friends truly are
  • The Gift of Learning - you will never be old enough to continue to learn, appreciate the learning times
  • The Gift of Problems - Read James 1 (life will not be easy, it's how you embrace them that can carry you through)
  • The Gift of Family - No matter what, family (both biological and church) should always be close to you (and your heart)
  • The Gift of Laughter - Life is too serious, enjoy these precious moments of laughter
  • The Gift of Dreams - Set the curve high and reach for God's best in your life
  • The Gift of Giving - to give is truly better than to receive, for the blessing lies in this
  • The Gift of Gratitude - appreciate these moments that others do for you no matter how significant or insignificant
  • The Gift of a Day - life, as it is said, is way too short, so appreciate the days that the Lord has given you
  • The Gift of Love - the Ultimate Gift!  In one of my favorite musicals (Les Miserables) there is a line that says, "to love another person is to see the Face of God"...

the ultimate giftWhat I really liked about this movie is:  Everything!  What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul (answer:  nothing!).  This movie encapsulates a road to discipleship that is biblical and that it truly tells you that giving is better than receiving.  This is completely counter-culturual in that it shows you that when you give without expectation (letting the right hand not know what the left hand is doing) God's blessing is so much better than what we possibly could think.

This movie aloud me the privilege to share a beautiful teaching moment with my family - What really matters in life.  I taught about God's love for us and what he calls us to do in return.  My youngest (7) was hit hard with the realization of death and that one day mom and dad will be gone (be sensitive to this), but what the tears aloud us to do was to connect on so many different levels.  I learned not to be afraid to share bitter truths in life with our kids.  The reality and frailty of this conversation led to a much bigger theme:  The Gift of Family and the Gift of Love (God's love for us).  When we put these things in our life and move towards God's path for us, then we find the abundant life that He promises us.

I would love to see a follow-up movie on this.  My theme in this would be a man who used to be a trust-fund brat and totally of this world, moving to a true disciple of Jesus Christ making a difference in the world.  Looking like something Job quotes in his book: Job 29.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all of your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3).

Blessings,

Dante

PS - there is a sequel/prequel called the ultimate life (movie preview to follow once it is viewed)

 

Movie Review: When the Game Stands Tall

My wife and I recently rented the movie, When the Game Stands Tall.  We were very pleased with this rental and thoroughly enjoyed the life lessons that were taught in it.  A lot of these themes coincidentally lineup with Lance and I and to be more specific, line up with truth in Scripture.whenthegameIt amazes me when Hollywood veers away from truth in Scripture and tries to create their own dialogue and sensationalism (ie. Noah and Exodus - not true at all to Scritpure.  Hollywood needs to learn, that whether we like it, believe it, and or just down right demand it - there is a lot of wealth to be made if they stick to biblical truth and tell the story that God's word has been doing forever!

That being said, some life lessons that were given through the movie:

  • When you base your life on truth in Scripture (you will have a good life).  This does not mean that you will be free from trials and tribulations, but you will have a good life
  • Scripture (and the truth in Scripture) can change a community (For the better)
  • Do not ignore your primary role as spiritual leader to your wife and kids (it not only is your main directive, it is imperative to making their faith real)
  • Carry each others burdens (community is essential in the Christian life)
  • Forgive (even when it is hard)
  • Be humble in all circumstances

The movie was very entertaining and brought home so very biblical principles.  www.legacydad.com movie review:  A-

Blesssings,

D

The Secret to Life - A 75 Year Study from Harvard University

This Saturday will be the first Men of Faith (men's group) of the year 2015 and I will have the pleasure to lead this group.  There are times in life when I like to look at secular viewpoints so I Googled the "Secret to Life" and was overjoyed when I find this article from the Huffington Post written back in 2013, The 75-Year Study that found the Secrets to a fulfilling life.  To put it simply, there was a Harvard University Grant that followed 268 male Harvard undergrads from the classes of 1938 to 1940 who are well into their 90's at present day.  George Vaillant, the Harvard Psychiatrist, who conducted this study from 1972 to 2004 wrote a book about it, in order to revisit the findings.  Below were 5 lessons from the Grant Study to apply to your own pursuit of a happier and more meaningful life (I will add scripture context to see if this hold true):Love Is Really All That Matters:  "It may seem obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true: Love is key to a happy and fulfilling life. As Vaillant puts it, there are two pillars of happiness. "One is love," he writes. "The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away."  (Scripture test:  Click Here).

It's About More than Money and Power:  "The Grant Study's findings echoed those of other studies -- that acquiring more money and power doesn't correlate to greater happiness. That’s not to say money or traditional career success don’t matter. But they’re small parts of a much larger picture -- and while they may loom large for us in the moment, they diminish in importance when viewed in the context of a full life."  (Scripture test:  Click Here)

Regardless of How We Begin Life, We Can All Become Happier:  "A man named Godfrey Minot Camille went into the Grant study with fairly bleak prospects for life satisfaction: He had the lowest rating for future stability of all the subjects and he had previously attempted suicide. But at the end of his life, he was one of the happiest. Why? As Vaillant explains, “He spent his life searching for love.” (Scripture Test:  Click Here)

Connection Is Crucial:  ""Joy is connection,” Vaillant says. "The more areas in your life you can make connection, the better." The study found strong relationships to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction. And in terms of career satisfaction, too, feeling connected to one's work was far more important than making money or achieving traditional success.  "The conclusion of the study, not in a medical but in a psychological sense, is that connection is the whole shooting match," says Vaillant.  As life goes on, connections become even more important. The Grant Study provides strong support for the growing body of research that has linked social ties withlongevitylower stress levels and improved overall well-being.  (Scripture Test:  Click Here)

Challenges --and the Perspective They Give You -- Can Make You Happier:  The journey from immaturity to maturity, says Vaillant, is a sort of movement from narcissism to connection, and a big part of this shift has to do with the way we deal with challenges.  Coping mechanisms -- “the capacity to make gold out of s*@t,” as Vaillant puts it -- have a significant effect on social support and overall well-being. The secret is replacing narcissism, a single-minded focus on one's own emotional oscillations and perceived problems, with mature coping defenses, Vaillant explains, citing Mother Teresa and Beethoven as examples. “Mother Teresa had a perfectly terrible childhood, and her inner spiritual life was very painful," says Vaillant. "But she had a highly successful life by caring about other people. Creative expression is another way to productively deal with challenges and achieve meaning and well-being. "The secret of Beethoven being able to cope with misery through his art was when he wrote 'Ode to Joy,'" says Vaillant. "Beethoven was able to make connection with his music."  (Scripture test:  Click Here)

---------

Some questions that I would have asked these men in this Grant Study:

  • Do you know the Lord as Savior?
  • How did you come to find these answers (through the Word of God)?
  • Why is Love so important to you?

Harvard Laws of 1642:

Harvard College Lawes of 1642 (from New England's First Fruits)

1. When any Schollar is able to Read Tully or such like classicall Latine Author ex tempore, and make and speake true Latin in verse and prose suo (ut aiunt)Marte, and decline perfectly the paradigmes of Nounes and verbes in the Greeke tongue, then may hee bee admitted into the  College, nor shall any claime admission before such qualifications.2. Every one shall consider the mayne End of his life and studyes, to know God and Jesus Christ which is Eternall life. Joh. 17.3.3. Seeing the Lord giveth wisdome, every one shall seriously by prayer in secret, seeke wisdome of him. prov. 2.2,3 etc.4. Every one shall so exercise himselfe in reading the Scriptures twice a day that they bee ready to give an account of their proficiency therein, both in theoreticallobservations of Language and Logicke, and in practicall and spirituall truthes as their tutor shall require according to their severall abilities respectively, seeing the Entrance of the word giveth light etc. psal. 119, 130.5. In the publicke Church assembly they shall carefully shunne all gestures that shew any contempt or neglect of Gods ordinances and bee ready to give an account to their tutors of their profiting and to use the helpes of Storing themselves with knowledge, as their tutours shall direct them, and all Sophisters and Bachellors (until themselves make common place) shall publiquely repeate Sermons in the Hall whenver they are called forth.6. they shall eschew all prophanation of Gods holy name, attributes, word, ordinances, and times of worship, and study with Reverence and love carefully toreteine God and his truth in their minds.7. they shall honour as their parents, Magistrates, Elders, tutours and aged persons, by beeing silent in their presence (except they bee called on to answer)not gainesaying shewing all those laudable expressions of honour and Reverence in their presence, that are in uses as bowing before them standing uncovered or the like.8. they shall be slow to speake, and eschew not onely oathes, Lies, and uncertaine Rumours, but likewise all idle, foolish, bitter scoffing, frothy wanton words and offensive gestures.

 

 

 

Happy New Year - From Legacy Dad

Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) “11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV) “13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

chicago skylineWhether you celebrate the New Year by toasting grape juice, pillows (going to bed early), or even Champagne, we would like you to look back for a gander in 2014.  For some of you, it has been full of travel and work and more travel and for others it has been just another year under the belt.   For some, it has been a year of trials and tribulations and for others it has been a year of jubilee and blessing.  While yet, for others, it may have been a year of both trial and blessing.  Whatever and where ever you are in this life - we would like to humbly wish you all a very Happy New Year.

So what is our challenge for 2015?

  • Calling all Legacy dads:
  • Strain toward the goal (finish well)
  • Press toward walking more with God
  • Lean more on God (Jesus and His Spirit) and less on ourselves
  • Declare God's plan for our lives (and not our own)

0112-top-earth_lightsWhen we work toward the goal of Jesus, we learn to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, then we see more of God's will in our lives and less of our will.

 

Remember, God does have plans for us - really good plans.

 

 

Happy New Year and the best to your and your families in 2015!

Blessings,

Lance & Dante

A Father Abandoned

Parenting advice and blogs seem to focus on two distinct areas: The new parents to school age child genre and the triage – something is wrong genre. As a result, 90% of the parents I talk with at my conferences and in discussions tend to fall into these two categories and it’s often hard for other parents to relate to me as a father of two teenagers. Unless there is a triage issue, most parents in the teen years have long stopped reading the parents blogs and have just settled in their groove.abandoned

Recently, I’ve discovered a phenomena that I’ve read about but did not expect to hit me so hard in the teen years, the Abandonment Issue. After returning from six months abroad in a foreign country, I’ve realized that my two teens are now fully engaged in their own lives and peer group. Each day, the kids have an agenda and schedule filled with school, activities and friends and the last thing on their list is spending time with dad. Gone are the days when dad was the apple of their eye and seen as a super hero that they would run to when scared or in need. Although I knew these days would come, I never thought that they would hit me so hard.

My logical side tells me that this is normal and part of the teenage years, where my kids spread their wings and try things on their own, but my emotional side feels abandoned and as if one chapter of my parenting book has ended. The teen years are the years when peer groups and peer influence become more prevalent in our children but as a father, although I realize that this is normal, it’s hard to not feel abandoned and insignificant.

When your children are little, you never think the day will come when they start to spread their wings and try things on their own and the day they leave your home for college seems like a fairytale in the distant future. However, as the years pass and they grow into young men and women, you soon realize that the distant fairytale is slowly getting closer and closer.

Although friends have become more important in my children’s lives and spending time with mom and dad is “boring” I have to remember that this is all part of God’s plan and that the fruits of years of prayer and hard work are unfolding before my eyes. I also have to remember to cherish the moments when my teens do want to spend time together and to make those moments memorable and meaningful. I pray that God gives me and all parents who enter into this new phase of parenting the strength to continue to reach out to our children, even when they don’t need us as much, and to continue to pray for their safety and that God works in their lives to bring about His ultimate plan for them.

Esse Quam Videri

Lance

FOMO(D) = Fear of Missing Out (Disease)

FOMOFear of missing out or FOMO is a form of social anxiety, whereby one is compulsively concerned that one might miss an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, profitable investment or other satisfying event. The fear is especially associated with modern technologies such as mobile phones and social networking services such as Facebook and Twitter, which provide constant opportunity for comparison of one's status. Through an increased reliance on the Internet, a psychological dependence to being online has developed and results in anxiety when one feels disconnected, thereby leading to a fear of missing out.The older I get, the more that I am horrified of what technology and social media has done to this world.  Seriously, walk into a restaurant, a coffee bar, a shopping mall and look around and observe:  Mostly everyone has their heads in their smart phone or Ipad and are missing out on the beauty around them. God made us to be social beings, because in His trinity, he is teaching us the importance of community.  God made us as social beings - he wants us to be social.  "Go and make disciples" has explicit community attached to that statement.  God calls us to be pure, to be faithful and to be good stewards of our time, talent and treasure.  I think when we spend so much time in fruitless matters (on FOMO events).

The other day, I was out to dinner with my family and noticed a handsome couple, it seemed obvious that they were on their 2nd or 3rd date as they both seemed relatively new to one another.  The thing that I found was really sad was that they both spent more time in their phones then looking into each other's eyes.  How many conversations that you are in, do you notice people, over generations, have lost the art of conversation.  Seriously observe the next time you are talking or watch others talking:  They are not focusing on the person in front of them, or in conversation, they are looking for the better thing, or the more interesting person walking along. My wife and I try and teach our kids this art of conversation.  When someone talks to you, look them in the eyes and acknowledge that they are important to you.  If you are at a restaurant (or service location) and the server (employee) is asking you something, give them the respect of their time and engage their conversation - this is an art of respect.

TOP 10 REASONS WHY WE NEED TO LET GO OF FOMO

  1. When you are not in the moment, you may be missing the very blessing that God wants you to receive (or to give)
  2. When you are suffering from FOMO, fear and anxiety can often set in
  3. When FOMO rules your life, you are missing the beauty that is around you
  4. When FOMO dominates your life, you are quickly overwhelmed by social media, electronics and the like that become idols in your life
  5. When FOMO reigns in your life, you are not serving God the way that he wants you to
  6. When FOMO becomes more important then the person in right in front of you, you are not honoring God's request in our life for community
  7. When FOMO has overrun you, you are quick to be bored
  8. When FOMO controls your thoughts, expectations and anticipations, it is really hard to be satisfied
  9. When FOMO controls you, you will likely put a smile on the evil ones
  10. When FOMO is put in its rightful place (the least of your priorities) you will soon be finding God's will in your life

I am not sure about you and what FOMO looks like in your life, but I know the more of what I put in my life, the more my life bears that fruit.  What fruit do you want to bear?  The Fruit of the Spirit or of the sinful nature.

Thoughts?

 

Dante

Twas the night before Christmas, by Legacydad

"The Night Before Christmas" by Legacy Dadtwas'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a child was screening a IPad nor even an IPhone.  The parents were working hard to finish the packing and even wrapping the last minute deliveries.  A movie just ended about a sad story, but not to fear, it all works out through the evening.

The children were wrestling and wondering, could this man called Saint Nicholas be for real.  Some doubted and reasoned while yet others were hoping that maybe just maybe Norad Santa Tracker could be for real, then the morning would truly bring their hearts’ desires.

As mom and dad prayed for just a few more hours, hoping that children would sleep way past their wake up hours, a sound arose from their hearts, yes a sound, the spirit of Christmas.

A long time ago, in a town called Bethlehem, a child was born of a virgin.  Fulfilling age old prophecies, one child named Jesus would prove them all true.  His dad, our God, sent him to us, as a gift of mercy and love for all of us.

Mom and dad decided to read that old Bible, Luke 2 it was , with all of its mercy.  A boy was born and was visited by wise men, bearing gifts to this king – gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Some odd gifts they were, but true telling of the young lad:  A king, a prince, who would die a death for us – for love and mercy.

When tomorrow morning comes, inside all the fury, we, parents need to remember the birthday celebration:  Christ the child was born for us, our sins he covered with his death.  Let us remember to give God the glory.  In all we do, in words and action, Christmas is the day for us to begin anew, to be his disciples.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Best wishes,

Dante & Lance