Plans for your life
Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you,"declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans togive you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray tome, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek mewith all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD…
These past two years have been extremely trying for me andmy walk. I am not sure how much I alludedto in the past entries about my wife, but over the past two year, almost to thedate of the first year anniversary, she has had some major health complicationsthat the doctors cannot explain the cause of to this day. Needless to say, they were able to treat herafter she was hospitalized both times, but for me, it was extremelyunnerving. Basically, to put it simply,she was very close to having her body (at the age of 31) go into renalfailure. Her CPK levels were off thechart and the first year she could barely walk up the stairs holding ouryoungest (at 2 years old, now 3). Forsix days she was hospitalized (the first year) and for 4 days she washospitalized this year.
I have a new found respect for single parents. Frankly, I don’t know how you do it24/7. Last year, my in-laws were inFlorida and my parents are just too old to handle my 3 kids and life wasextremely stressful and turned me upside down and inside out. I was on my own, while my wife was in thehospital, being mom, dad, nurse, caretaker, cook, maid, and all around defensefor my family. After the kids were inbed I fell into bed and wrestled in prayer, in tears, and in reading God’s wordfor answers. Seriously, I couldn’tbelieve that this is what he had planned for my life, to take my wife away fromus and to leave me as a single parent raising 3 younglings. By the way, I also want to say that Spiritualattack was also evident in my life through this time as well, both at theworkplace and elsewhere.
The hardest prayer I think that I have ever prayed (overtears) was for my wife and for her healing, but as I continued searching theScriptures for answers I found myself having to pray, “not my will be done, butyour will Father.” It was at that pointthat I gave everything to Him. I gavehim my tears, my stress, my hope and my frustration – not knowing where thisroad would lead. I wrestled in my bed,crying myself to sleep for the love of my life, and asking to have her just onemore night in my home.
I had taken 3 days off of work to be the parent, and my workwas more than patient, given the circumstance. I was reading many Scriptures including the one listed above and all ofa sudden a great peace came about me. Icannot explain it, except that there was a real calming force about me. At that point the phone rang and it was afriend who leads our church’s prayer team. She told me that a group of six women were praying for me that morningand she wanted me to know that. I askedher the time that this occurred and she said it was right about the time that Ifelt that unbelievable peace, given my circumstance. The strange thing about that was that mymother-in-law (over 1700 miles away) felt that same type of peace come overher.
This past January, I moved my parents into assisted living(in another state by my sister) right about the time that my wife went back tothe emergency room only to hospitalized again in January 2010 for the samething that the doctor said the year before would never come back. Strangely enough, she went into the hospital theday before I flew back, so I was able to land in Chicago and visit her thereand spend the day with her at the hospital. These past two years have taught me something in my Christian walk thatI don’t think anything else could have done in such an extreme way – to trustin the Lord. To trust Him no matter whatand no matter what happens in your life. What would it profit me to gain the whole world and lose my ownsoul? What would it profit me to haveeverything in this world but to lose my faith in God? The answer is quite simple – nothing. There is nothing on this earth that is worthlosing that. Nothing!
God has plans for me, not to harm me, but to prosperme. God has plans for you too. What does he want in return? The answer is simple yet not easy. It requires obedience, repentance, trust anda heart of worship. He does not want hypocrisy;he does not want a lukewarm person. Whenyou want to come closer to Him, He will come closer to you – I promise!
As hard as life is and could get, God will meet you whereyou are at. A word of caution, He is aHoly God and he doesn’t want just a part of your life as a Christian – He wantsall of it. And for the Legacy Dad’s outthere – remember that your children out there are watching you, and remembersomething even more important than that – God is watching you all thetime. JOB 7.
Dante