True Confidence: Part 5 - False Measures - Achievements

We continue our discussion on True Confidence (Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four)

False Measures of Confidence.

3. Achievements

Another false measure of confidence is our accomplishments.  As a young child I often thought that my ticket to Heaven was wrapped up in my works on earth, my good deeds or the things I accomplished in my life.

Some of us still believe this?

So the trap this sets is that we feel we can never do enough and we always have to do more.

This is ingrained in us from the time we are children:

In most schools today, children are rewarded and told they are special if they receive straight A's.  Picture 1

If you score the most points in the game, you get your name in the local paper. 

Later in life, if we have the right letters behind our name, we are successful.

If we have the right office and job title, we are important.

So as a result of this, we often tie our value by what we do and achieve. We see this in professional athletes and business people who don't want to retire because their self worth is wrapped up in their accomplishments.

Troy_aikmanTexas Monthly did an interview with legendary quarterback Troy Aikman after he won his first Super Bowl and he said that after the game, he didn't go out an party with the team instead he stayed in his hotel room and reflected.  He said that his whole life he was preparing for this moment and he thought all his problems would be solved once he won the Super Bowl.  Now in his hotel room his was scared and asked himself "What Now?"

Jeremiah 9:23

"This is what the LORD says: Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this:that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,  declares the LORD."

The reason why this is so toxic is because this attitude will lead us to compare ourselves to others and compared to other people, someone will always have more, or do it better than us.  We compare ourselves to our personal best, not to others.

In Psalm 73, David said "I nearly lost my confidence, my faith was almost gone because I was jealous..."

Wrapping this topic up, we must understand that we will be disappointed when we look to ourselves for help.  Every year, thousands of self-help books are published and if we could do it on our own, we could simply go down to a local bookstore, read a few books and solve all our problems in life. Selfhelp

I think we all know that this doesn't work. Which we lead us to the final post on this topic and why we need God.


Leaving a legacy for your children

Leaving a legacy

1 Peter 3:7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

100_8178ed  Last weekend a group of twelve men went on an overnight retreat.  The first night was a lesson on Spiritual Leadership and the next morning was on Vision Mapping for 2009 for our men's ministry and for our relationship with our wives.  The speaker on Friday night spoke a lot about past experiences and biblical truths.  One comment that he made was, "What blood is to a life, communication is to a marriage."  He then challenged all of the men, roughly 300, to go home and ask our wives the following questions:

#1 On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage?  #2 What would it take to make it a 10? #3 Ask her if there is anything stressing her out right now? #4 Ask her how you can help? #5 Ask her what you can do that really makes her feel loved? #6 Ask her what is annoying her right now? #7 Ask her what God is teaching her? Ask her what her goals are, and how can you help her with them? 

For some of you reading this, you are probably saying there is no way that I want to have my wife answer these questions.  You are probably thinking that you have to butter her up by taking her on a vacation or buying her something very expensive before you ask this.  And then there are some of you that are probably thinking that your wife will surely give you a "9" or possibly even a "10".  In whatever camp you may be in, I challenge you to take a moment and ask your wife these questions.  Be prepared for some hurtful truths (get over yourselves because our egos can handle it).  After you process her answers and get over the shock of what she may say or what she may want, put it into motion and don't just "talk" about it.

A spiritual leader is to be Christ-like and under the Spirit's control.  A Spiritual Leader reflects Christ and has his priorities and shares them with his family.  Leadership is the ability to communicate vision and the will to have people "own" this vision and follow it.  Our wives want us to take the role of Spiritual Leader, whether they are in the right place with God or not.  They look for us to work with them as their equal.  They are the Vice President of our family corporation.  We must understand our wives.  We must become a student of our wives.  We must strive for a doctorate (PHD) on our wives.  If we can do this, then imagine what our children will become.  Imagine what they will look for in a husband and/or wife.  Imagine what can happen at home, at work, at church and in the community. 

What is God telling you right now?  Is the Spirit convicting you right now?  In all things acknowledge Him and he will bless you! 

A Worthy Legacy

"When my father died suddenly in a car accident in May of 2001 without achance to say good bye, grieving him was tough since there was no senseof closure. Dad was a man of words, so I knew he would have wanted tohave one last say before he took his final breath. With this thought inmind, the writer in me sought closure by writing his last words for him."

Please go and check out Tomi Akinyanmi's new book A Worthy Legacy  Worthylegacy

This book is Tomi's reflection on her dads life, teachings and legacy. 

"Life can be a confusing journey. There are so many choices and pathsthat can be taken that the true things in life that matter get jumbledand skewed. Sometimes the only way one can find clarity is the guidanceof someone with experience.
This is a gentle story that speaks of life and the little things thatmake a big difference. The story is written with great love andtenderness that is rarely seen. This is a quick read and would make anice gift for life changing events."    — Reviewer

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Believe in me

Ten year-old Dalton Sherman, a fifth grader, was the opening keynote at a big beginning-of-school pep rally for the DallasIndependent School District. He was speaking to thousands of people.

I would love to meet the parents, teachers and mentors behind this remarkable young man.  The result is living proof of what is possible when a child is given proper guidance and when he believes in himself.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZm0BfXYvFg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&fs=1&w=425&h=344]

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