The Secret to Life

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k1uOqRb0HU&hl=en_US&fs=1&&w=480&h=385]

As a lay leader in Ministry I often here this question, "What do you think God's will is for my life."  I always find that question really interesting because we are all created differently and uniquely each in our own special way.  Here, in the United States, we are bombarded by multi media applications ranging from television to radio to social networks and even twitter and text messaging.  The bottom line is usually more to indulge the "me" and not the "we".  This culture usually is about what I can get next or how can I best please myself.  It is this sense of Entitlement that we really don't deserve.

Above is the video from the move, City Slickers, which stars Billy Crystal.  He is on this cattle drive with Curly Joe (I believe) and his wife sent him on this trip during his mid-life crisis (or should we say identity crisis) of who he should be.   In Christian terms, he is searching for that one thing, the Secret to Life.

In biblical terms, we can find the answer in Philippians 4:12b, which states, "12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want..."  The one word definition is called Contentment.  Here is the thing, if we are serious about finding God's will in our life, then we have to be serious about God.  We cannot be lukewarm, nor can we pretend that the God of this Universe, a Holy God, will simply be content with us serving two masters:  God and Sin.  We cannot do that because He is a Holy God.  We can start by eating his Word daily (reading scripture) and praying daily.  I would, once again, start with Colossians Chapter 3 and also Romans Chapter 12.  Here are two chapters that will put you in the right path to find God's will.  Once you find Contentment you will hear His will.  That one thing:  Philippians 4:13 says that, "I can do all things, through Christ Jesus, who gives me Strength."  

Legacy Ready to Roll (Rite of Passage)

Came across this very legacy-ish dialog below while updating the Year of Passage outline with soninlaw Matt for Taylor to be 12 in two weeks.  It’s an outline that may prod you.  Glad to answer questions and give references on the Passage issue.  If the year 12 to 13 is to have a meaningful memorializing at “graduation,”  it should be intentional, deliberative, and taken seriously enough to pray over all the prep as well as launching the event. 

Ours launching event is coming up in a week.  Family joining us from Utah.  First event is a glider flight for Taylor.  Then he writes about it, 500 words or more.  (Homeschooled, so Mom gives credit).  Next is Scripps Oceanographic museum then whale-watching trip.  Another essay.

Here’s my dialog with Todd on John Eldredge's Ransomed Heart Net (you should all visit, join..Powerful: www.ransomedheart.net )

Todd, what a cherished photo. What a great drill it would be to re-post it and ask guys for a one or two-sentence caption. Mine might be, "Dad, that looks so beautiful out there...so big, so, well…scary. I'm not sure I'm ready. Would you lead me?"    [Photo of great expanse from edge of cliff during a father-son “Passage” camp out]

Swiss Army knife. A Blessing. It's authority comes from On High. Through you. Maybe through your dad even grand dad. Legacy. Particularly because it was intentional, the keystone of true love.

My 11 and 9 and their dad and I just returned from a cattle drive; a big one. They have their Leatherman's, boots, hats, and ropes. I wanted my love, framed in intentional (grand) fathering, to be distinct. I'm pretty much a "tell it" didactic guy. So, I began a monthly letter to each. Short and age-readable. Same topic for them and their 6 year-old princess sister (hey, let’s be sure to remember our fathering include the girls, a hard one to get right--impossible if mom is not on the "fathering team"). I mail each one real mail separately.

When "Popi" comes to visit, it's date time. This round it was both of the boys at McDonalds, Happy Meals and all. We discuss the letter which they read in their home schooling. Letter Three was Walking with God. They got it. Last week's #4 was "Goals" (this year, this life). The ten-year-old got it: "I want to lead someone to God". I withheld testosterone tears but still shouted, "Wow!"  The 8, as is his ADHD wont, went all over the place but ended with, "Be really good." Their dad, for whom I am " Adjunct Fathering Team Dad," follows this up in dad talks. I think I am going to staple these in my journal form with their responses for posterity.

Gary Taylor (Popi).  www.GenerationalFathering.com

(talk to me about journeys of “passage” at gary@newseason.us)

The Sky before Katrina

Psalm 148:8 (New International Version)

 ⁸ lightning and hail, snow and clouds, 
       stormy winds that do his bidding,

Trials and Tribulations

AsI write this entry, I have just returned from a four night business conferenceand had the pleasure in being able to take my wife.  What I find interesting is when you aretrying to take that step and walk by faith where the littlest things (things =attacks and trials) come from.  I willnot bore you with the details, but I can honestly say that I am not surprisedby the circumstance.  Here is the thing,when we are attacked we cannot control the situation, but we can decide on howwe are going to respond to that attack. The Book James put is like this:  “James1:2-4 (New International Version)  “2Considerit pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because youknow that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance mustfinish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  I like the saying that says we cannot controlour days or what happens every hour, but we can make a cognitive decision abouthow we let our attitudes dictate the course of our action.  For instance, I was blindsided today by someonewho I would never have guessed could give into rage and/or lack hospitality,but nothing will surprise me anymore given today’s course of events.  I could have chosen to respond in a verynegative way, or I can take the words of James and put things into the biggerpicture. 

Hereis the thing, we are going to make mistakes, it is not the sin nor the mistakeswe make that marks the type of Christian we are.  Rather, it is the course of action andattitude that we chart our path through the course.  I could have chosen the path that leads toanger, which leads to rage, which would be followed up by more sin, or I canchoose to weigh my response and to consider it pure joy when trials andtribulations come my way.  I thank Godthat He is patient with a sinner like me and that He gives me mercy and graceto not only say that I am forgiven, but to also say that I am a child ofGod.  I am royalty and I need to acceptthat things are this earth will come and pass us by, but we should be trainingfor the long race ahead and be asking ourselves, “how do you plan on finishingthis race.  The Christian race whereothers in your paths will ask you where your hope comes from and how your lifeis different from theirs? 

Nomatter what curveball life throws at you, next time take a step back andreflect (say a little prayer) and ask God to guide you through His Holy Spiritand to make your path straight and your footsteps sound.  To God be the glory, forever and ever,amen!!!

Mercy Me, Daddy please

All right dads, this one is for you.  My son and I have been having an interesting week now that Spring is finally in the air.  Between videos, walks outside, the park and pancakes for breakfast we have both learned a valuable lesson in Mercy this week.  I would like to preempt this story by the fact that my son has been very trying on my wife and has been a little on the "testing his boundaries" week.  Anyway, two nights ago I was putting him to bed and he lost his privilege of a bedtime story, which was also going to include a final video on the computer from You tube (Veggie Tales - Jonah).    

My wife and I firmly believe in rearing the children and we also believe in spankings, however, we don't always believe that spankings are necessary as kids can sometimes get the point a lot quicker when you either remove them from a situation or you remove something they want from their situation.  In this case, he was tired and very distraught and instead of spanking him, I leaned on the premise of taking away his privilege (not a right) to the bedtime story and video the next night.  As I was putting him to bed we knelt down and said our prayers and we talked about what he did wrong and why he was being punished.  He understood and even though he wasn't completely happy with the situation, he accepted the terms willingly.  

Here is the point of the night that I want to resonate with all of you.  I asked my son the following question about God's Mercy.  I asked him what is God's Mercy.  To my surprise, he said, "A second chance."  I asked him to explain that to me and he said in his own kind of way that when we mess up God still gives us a second chance.  It was at this point that I felt moved with compassion and I said to him quietly in his ear, "Son, because God loves us so much, he gave us his son Jesus and had mercy on us even when we didn't deserve a second chance."  God had compassion on us and gave us his son Jesus to save us so we could be with him in Heaven.  At this point of the night, I also said, "because of God's Mercy, I am going to show you mercy and let you watch the rest of Veggie Tales with your sisters tomorrow night before bed (we were finishing the last part of the 1hr22minute video).  

The next night as we watched Veggie Tales Jonah, the part of that movie talked about God's Mercy and compassion for his children.  I looked at my son and whispered to him, do you see how God's Mercy works all the time?  He smiled and said to me, "Yes daddy."

Even in our worst of days, God still loves us.  I think he gives us children (sometimes our own, sometimes others that we mentor, teach in kids programs at church, etc.,) in order to teach us what true love really means and to also give us (parents, teachers and mentors) the gift of Mercy and Compassion.

With this, I said to him last night as I tucked him in bed, "God is good" and he said, "All the time," and I said, "God is good.

To God be the Glory, forever and ever, Amen!

The "CALL"...Save the world or "Train them up?"

It popped back off the screen at me as I responded to a woman’s comment of my web site.  She was from my wife’s Sunday school class some 50 years ago and had agreed to critique my web site.  She liked the site.  It was inspirational, actually.  But it saddened her.  Her husband, now a grandfather, did not apply his many gifts to being a father.  Often didn’t seem interested.  In fact, she said, sadly, she would not have been able to get her husband to read such a book. “It’s a guy thing, I guess,” said she, remorsefull.

I’d like to share my response.   Please consider the last line.  I have too many such stories from close friends in ministry and missions.  If you know of the Bob Pierce syndrome, that’s what we’re talking about.   Save the world, lose the child…forever.

“My great fear is that your husband is like more of the husbands out there than not. No, it's not a guy thing. Hoping this won’t seem intrusive and rude,  I am seeing this (I've been there) as disobedience to biblical standards. Lots of guys, otherwise called fathers some of the time, spend their days earning a living for their families, sometimes providing more than is necessary.  On top of that, we men are prone to fulfill our drive toward significance, but too often at the cost of our families. Believe me, it happens as much, maybe more, in men saving the world in the name of Jesus.”

So, as legacy dads your intuition whispers assurance that you are not like that at all.  Once again, and this comes from personal unpleasant exposure to friends in ministry:  those with a drive to do God’s will at any price are too often the ones who include their children on the price tag. 

It would take us hours and pages to invade the scriptures to support either side of this issue—follow “the call” or “train up the children in the way they should go.”  Sure, you CAN do both.  But on which side do you compromise when real life demands it?  

My next best friend, college classmate and football team mate, founder of one of the great mission agencies of today, got nudged from top spot by my son-in-law—a great story we talk about in our co-authoring site and book.  He “lost” two of his three sons to saving the Muslim world; they are proud, highly educated, angry pagans today.  One or the other?  No, but choices must be made—daily along the way to significance for the Kingdom and significance to the legacy.   

Is it possible your “call,” Legacy Dad,  is the only one God can’t find someone else to fulfill…being the father your sons and daughters joyfully emulate as they walk with God down life’s rugged road and even more joyfully repeat for their children, generation after generation?

Gary

www.generationalfathering.com

Who is your brother?

Hate or Love

1 John 2:9Anyone who claimsto be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. 10Whoeverloves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him[c] to makehim stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walksaround in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because thedarkness has blinded him.”

Does this mean if someonedoesn’t like me that they hate me?  Whatif someone continually attacks me and/or my character? How about this, ifsomeone continues to be a thorn in your side? What about if you find yourself under spiritual attack and you try andidentify that attack to a person?  Doesthis give me a right to hate my brother? Absolutely not, if I am under trial or tribulation, which could be froma co-worker (or a brother in the church) should I automatically assume that theproblem lies with them and not with me? 

How can we tell who is right or wrong?  Imean, seriously, if I am a ministry leader shouldn’t I always be right?  If I am reading the word of God everyday andpraying often, doesn’t that mean that the other person must be wrong?  Do you hate your brother?  Let me be specific, is there someone in yourchurch, mini church, neighborhood or workplace that is causing you tostumble?  That is causing you to hatethem?  Can you justify thatposition?  If so, then re-read 1 John2:9-11, and then re-ask the question. Seriously, Galatians 6 tells us that we should test ourselves and onlyourselves.  The Book of James tells usthat through trial and tribulation we build perseverance and through perseverancewe build maturity.  Spiritual Maturity,we find in Hebrews 5 & 6, gives us the ability to immediately discern goodfrom evil. 

So where should you go tofind out who is right and wrong:  1)Scripture  2) Prayer 3) Leaders in yourchurch 4) Accountability Partners (which may include your wives if you are married)  and 5) Galatians 5 – that is, are you bearingfruit of the Spirit or Fruit of the Sinful Nature.   Scripture is very clear between the two.  You cannot possibly be walking in the lightif you are bearing fruit from both.   

So now what?  Do you hate your brother?  Do you hate your sister?  Are these questions penetrating to thesoul?  If so, repent, ask God to directyou in the right course and pray for forgiveness. 

And remember, God is good allthe time.  All the time God is good.

My Grandfather, Pancho Villa

Thanks, Lance, for the introduction.  My heart, my passion is fathering, being a life-long legacy dad.  It never quits, fellas, even when they make the 18th year.  They're still yours, still your greatest assignment--ever!  Boys and girls, yours, will be men and women in the chaotic future they'll face even after we're gone.  Your legacy is your impact through them to your community, your nation, the world, mankind.

So, no, you don't retire your fathering when they leave the nest (or you wish they would), when they marry and have children.  Legacy, Dad?  You'd better give it your all or you will have tears, not hear cheers when you approach The Gates and your imprint is measured for its true worth.

Stories pour from our lives as we move on down the road.  May you be centered in His Story written precisely for you.  May those vignettes of life, the pages you live in His Story, be from your renewed heart and indelible.  Here's a fresh one a few days old.

I subbed for 3rd grade yesterday. My favorite grade; cowboys are still heroes.Short of a full day's lesson plan, I reverted to the standby, an essay. "MyGrandfather"; "Write anything you want. If you don't have one, tell us yourdream grandpa."  Then they read them. Touching. And I learned about all sorts ofgrand fathers. All but one, including two fictional ones, were cool and loved.Because most of their families still speak Spanish, we heard of a lot of oldworld (Mexico) cowboys.

I learned as much from their faces as I did from their stories. Asthey read, it showed me again that grandpa, popi, grand dad and papa are namesheld precious to them. One lad talked with clear pride about his "grandfather"Pancho Villa. A few questions affirmed the lineage but we upgraded Pancho toG,G,G,grand father.  Do we, do they, care about our roots?  We revere thosemysterious heroes from our history that offer us strength.  To some a bandit, toothers a hero; it doesn't matter much to Pancho Villa's GGGgs.  What does matteris he has a history.  And Pancho Villa has generations that honor his name.

How better to be reminded of the significance of father and the grandfathers they'll become?..."From the mouths of babes."